I was sitting at work, fiddling with various GBA games on my PSP, when I decided that, for a laugh, I would play and record a nuzlocke run.
So, here it is; what passes for a nuzlocke run, by me, updated intermittently, played whenever I have work or can't play my PC vidya gaems.

A Nuzlocke Run is a word to describe a game of pokemon, played to restrictive and difficult rules. The rules enforced vary slightly from player to player, but there are a few core tenets:
1) If a pokemon faints, it's "dead". It must be released or otherwise made unavailable.
2) You may catch only the first pokemon encountered in any given route. (Trainer pokemon do not count) If you kill it, have no pokeballs, or pass through while in tutorial mode, tough luck.
For this run, I will adhere to the above rules, as well as following conditions:
3) Items may be purchased and used (except revive)
4) No "save and reload".
5) No limit on pokemon gifted to me by NPCs.
I may adhere to other rules not listed, because I can't think of them right now.

WARNING - THIS TALE SPEAKS REPEATEDLY OF JUVENILE pocky JOKES AND ADULT THEMES. IF YOU ARE A MINOR, I DON'T RECCOMMEND READING IT. YOU COULD, BUT YOU MAY BE EXPOSED TO DIRTY, SMUTTY PORNOGRAPHIC CONCEPTS EARLIER THAN YOU WOULD LIKE. (E.G. PENIS-OCULAR INSERTION)
I COULD GROW UP, AND STOP USING SUCH CHEAP AND DISGUSTING HUMOR; BUT I AM LAZY.

Alright, firing up the Pogeyman Emerrolds. It's been a long time since I even touched a 3rd-generation pokemon game, so it'll be interesting just how much I've retained about pokemon.

Time to start with the character.

Birch, eh? I'll take a wild guess and say that you're the "Pokemon Prof".

Called it.

As much as I love to be the little girl, I think I'll pass today. Now, what's my name? It's...

No, just kidding. That's the name of Professor Oak's grandson. My real name is...


Now, at this point, it was boring as fudge for ages.
A summary: I got to leave the back of the truck, checked out my room (spartan and filled with things I'll probably never see or use again), met MAY (jesus christ, ALLCAPS), rescued her dad from a wild zigzagoon, and got a Torchic for my trouble. I named the Torchic "Erhardt", For your information.

Moving on, it seems that MAY's father, BIRCH, is a bit of a matchmaker.

Yeah... no. I have better things to do, like browse 4chins from my basement.

Goddamnit. Fine. One of us has to give, and I have a sneaking suspicion it won't be you.

Alright, time to leave town. I'll quickly nip out to see MAY, then I'll come back, so I can get my fap on to hawt sexxy gardevoir images on the internet.

Well, it would go faster if I could run. But I guess sitting in a moving truck for as long as I did has somehow made me forget how to run. I'm sure it'll come back to me.

After a bit of slow walking, and discovering that tall grass is amazingly good at hiding small animals of an unreasonably agressive nature, I arrive at Oldale town, to see this chump.

So, that explains the getup, then. Not that I'm much better, I suppose. I don't even know if that thing on my head is my hair, or a beanie. Not to mention that I think I'm wearing what looks like lycra.

I could do with some pokeballs, my army of enslaved beas- I mean, team of trusted companions, needs fleshing out a bit, so I should ensl- recruit some more followers.

I, ah, can't find the pokeballs. Was the guy outside lying to me? TO ME?
I will burn this shop run by liars to the ground once I get myself a charizard or some spoon.

So, as I have no pokeballs, if I run into a pokemon, by imperial decree, IT MUST DIE, AND I MAY CATCH NAUGHT FROM THIS ROUTE.

Lady luck favors me, and I encounter nothing. I may still harvest from this route yet.

Now, my "someone's about to do something stupid"-sense is tingling, and I feel that MAY will challenge me to combat.
She does, and, being a gentleman, I oblige her, without mercy.

No sweat. Although, she's apparently been a trainer for a while, and yet, she falls to me like a tree made of butter to a lightsaber. It makes me wonder if this compliment even has any worth.

Again, she seems a little bit slow. Are you sure you're not overestimating your daughter's skill, BIRCH?
In any case, he makes up for his stupid with the gift of POKEDEX.

This ditz also has a pokedex? What is this thing, a party favor? I should get gone before the stupid becomes airborne, and infects me. At least I get 5 pokeballs for putting up with the stupid.

Evidently, these shoes come from a quarantine zone of stupid. Shoes with instructions. Back in Kanto, I'd be lucky to have those packets of silica gel that come with shoes.
Good news, though, I've remembered how to run, and these shoes (designed for retards as they are) are good shoes for running in.


Capable of moving at faster than walking pace, I make rapid progress... and attract yet more wildlife. I'd capture this one, but I already met and killed that first zigzagoon (and countless other pokemon to level up Erhardt), so I must let this one slide.

Shame, I'd like a poochyena.

Back to Route 103, where I will catch Erhardt's first sidekick. It is a...

Zigzagoon. Well, I need a meatshield, at least, so it'll have to do.

Nothin' but net, baby. I shall name it...

Whoa, wait a minute. I just realized something -

Spoon. It's a female Zigzagoon, called "Sly Cooper". Not one of my best names, imo. I will change it when possible, I think.

After more pottering around, trying to get Cooper to a reasonable level for combat, I'm finally ready to enter Route 102.

Time to hunt pogemans.

Balls, another zigzagoon? Pfah. I guess that's it for Route 102.

Meat shield ahoy, I guess. I don't suppose there's a NPC who would trade for a zigzagoon.

Another poorly thought out name, in hindsight, with respect to gender. I should slow down.

At this point, I had to start closing up work, so play is suspended, and more updates will come in about a week's time. (maybe less, if I can pry myself away from MAGICKA.)