"Okay, so what's the speed of dark?" - Steven Wright

"Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of." - Steven Wright

"Having smoking and non-smoking sections in a restaurant is like having urinating and non-urinating sections in a swimming pool." - Ross Parker

"I have overcome my willpower and taken up smoking again." - Mark Twain

"The metric system didn't really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine millimetre bullet." - Dave Barry

"I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets - Why should other planets be any different from this one?" - Bob Monkhouse

"I tried to imagine the easiest way God could have done it." - Albert Einstein  (!)

"The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts." - Paul Ehrlich

"Beer makes you smarter. It made Bud wiser..." - Bill Mather

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."

(This post was last modified: 03/05/2007 02:53 AM by Cleric.)