My Steam folder on my lappy has over 8 GB worth of data...It would also copy a few things that it wouldn't need anyway like my account files.

don't copy over appdata, or user stuff, just the steam base files

Well the only advice I can give you is to disable your complete ESET Security Suite while Steam is installing/updating.
Otherwise you really should try to copy over your lappys installation to your PC, I did that multiple times and it always worked out.
Just delete games you do not want afterwards.

I feel kind of like a jackass...I'll try the copying thing as a last resort if I can't get this other poo poo to work. :-\

Yep...Neither worked. :C

After I copied the folder over, it started the Steam update process again.