Hellgiver
Team Ramrod
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How to Enjoy Your 360's RRoD
Quote:Having recently had my Xbox 360 fail just shy of its 11 month birthday, I too joined the long list of gamers in the RRoD Club, or what I call, the “Can’t Beat American Made Brigade.” But being the sneaky Gen X type that I am, I felt that I would make the process of the repair cycle a reward in itself– what I call ‘Gonzo Consumerism.’
So when I rang up Xbox support here in Australia, I was put through to one of our local Xbox employees… in South East Asia. Anyway, part of the support operator’s call script is to mention how generous it is that Microsoft has extended the warranty of the chocolateBox 360 to three years, and that I (as the unfortunate owner) am lucky enough to “qualify” for the generous program. Here is the first opportunity to have some fun. Disagree to any statement or rhetorical question which mentions the ‘gracious’ extended warranty. Instead, ask to have your Xbox 360 covered under the ‘Wee have to avoid a class action and/or total product recall’ warranty. Your support operator will get confused and will state that they can’t progress the call further until you agree to have your Xbox 360 repaired under the ‘gracious’ three year warranty. In the end you have to agree, but for 30 minutes you can entertain yourself by seeing how many different ways you can get them to ask you to agree with their terms. At the end of the day the support operator will crack the chocolates that they missed a bunch of other calls (remember, they get paid per phone call, not per hour), and they will try that little bit less with the next call – thus bringing down, bit-by-bit, Microsoft’s overall support program… not that it could really get much lower.
Anyway, after waiting 24 hours for them to email you the address to send your xbox 360 to, the real fun begins!
In Australia it is a reply paid service, meaning you pack the machine up and take it to the post office, whereupon it is sent back to a silicon holocaust factory in Sydney’s south west. Since Microsoft are paying for it, why not make the carton as heavy as possible? Australia Post has a size and weight limit on parcels – thank God for OH&S guidelines – so ensure your parcel is no larger than 140cm in girth and 20kg in weight. Yes, your Xbox 360 may only weigh 5kg, but why not dispose of some old phone books as well? Get that parcel up to the 20kg mark, so that Microsoft have to pay more for the Reply Paid service!
Next, Microsoft recommend that the Xbox 360 is packed safely, with plenty of protection. Those phone books will help protect it, but I always recommend adding some packing foam. Now, being the environmentally minded person I am, I don’t use the plastic foam, I go for the wheat based foam as it breaks down in the land fill straight away and leaves no harmful resins. It also flakes whilst in boxes and, from my days as a computer tech, when it’s used to pack electrical equipment those flakes easily get in through vent holes.
So when your xbox 360 arrives back at the computer death camp, it’s insides will be covered in wheat shards, thus making sure it will never be reused by Microsoft for another poor red ring of death victim. And since you packed the console for safe transport, there is no way you can void your ‘gracious’ 3 year extended warranty.
But before you do pack it up, let’s confuse the TAFE workers whose job it is to confirm your RRoD Xbox 360 is dead. Go and find a demo disc for a Playstation 3 or a Nintendo Wii. Power up your Xbox, and place the disc in the tray of the 360.
That way the techo will think you are a complete idiot who was trying to get that demo of GT5 Prologue or Mario Galaxy to play on a console not worthy of either game.
I also recommend putting a cover letter in with your red ring of death 360, stating your name and address as well as the xbox 360's serial number and the fact that the Wii game wouldn’t play. But you don’t want your letter to get soiled, so why not put the letter in a resealable plastic bag? I recommend using the kind which you see used to traffic hash and cocaine in those dodgy C-grade television shows like NCIS. Before you seal the bag, though, you need to give the eventual opener a present. I recommend cup-caking a fart into it.
MMMMMmmmmmm, hopefully they will open it on a Monday morning whilst they are still recovering from a weekend of hard drinking… because TAFE students can’t afford real drugs.
Finally, your wheat foam, bag-o-trix and RRoD xbox 360 need to be put together. Sure you need to have a conspicuous outer box so that it doesn’t go missing in transit, but why not put a box in a box? I chose to use the box my PS3 came in – after all, I won’t need it anymore since it won’t suffer from inevitable hardware failure within it’s first year… or 10 years.
If a PS3 box isn’t around, maybe a Wii box? Either way it will send a message to Microsoft that you are not a loyal stooge and that you actually can’t trust a Microsoft box to handle your ‘precious’ cargo… please note, the dead console is not what I regard as precious, it’s the foam, PS3 disc and cup-cake letter I value most!
So there you have it. One great experience gained through a little bit of extra work. Instead of it being a laborious chore like your usual RRoD procedure, you have transferred all the bad aspects to Microsoft and its employees’ nostrils, whilst at the same time brightening your day. Call me a ‘gracious’ gamer.
I'll admit, I giggled a bit at the farting the bag. I shoulda tried this when I got my RRoD.
http://www.nextgg.com/RRoD-xbox-360.html
<3 Diego!
(This post was last modified: 12/03/2008 08:31 AM by Hellgiver.)
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