So: Fallarbor Town. A nice place, if a little dusty. About the most interesting thing about this one-horse town is the Pokemon Center... and they're not interesting at all.
![[Image: part9001.jpg]](http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/5961/part9001.jpg)
Who the fudge is this? What is this...
woman doing on the PC? Yo, bitch!
![[Image: part9002.jpg]](http://img692.imageshack.us/img692/6219/part9002.jpg)
Bitch best not be disrespectin' the Sigmund.
![[Image: part9004.jpg]](http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/2123/part9004.jpg)
You? INVENT? HA HA HA, OH MAN
![[Image: part9008.jpg]](http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/9361/part9008.jpg)
You dumb bi- wait, is she asking me to... make a house call? Well, alright, then. Route 114 it is.
Before I get out of town, I decide to see what passes for things to look at in this small town.
As I do so, I realize that there is nowhere near enough houses for all the people that seem to live here. That means that people around here do not sleep, or indeed, eat.
![[Image: part9009.jpg]](http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/4285/part9009.jpg)
A crater. I hope it's from a bomb or something, that'd make this town more interesting. Or if they use the crater for Beyblade battles, that would be okay, too. Preferably both.
![[Image: part9011.jpg]](http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/5503/part9011.jpg)
TEAM MAGMA? This country's full of insurgent groups, it seems. Eco terrorists and piracy out the donkey.
![[Image: part9012.jpg]](http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/3655/part9012.jpg)
Doop de doo, gonna make a house call, oh yeah...
But first, house barging!
![[Image: part9014.jpg]](http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/4863/part9014.jpg)
Hell yeah, I'd fudgeing love a fossil. I know a guy who could turn it into a pogemans.
![[Image: part9015.jpg]](http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/1128/part9015.jpg)
chocolatehead!
![[Image: part9016.jpg]](http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/1343/part9016.jpg)
Attempts to ruin this meatstick's house-cave are spoiled by very sturdy supports. Short of throwing a Geodude at the ceiling and telling it to selfdestruct, nothing's gonna bring it down.
I have no Geodudes to throw.
![[Image: part9017.jpg]](http://img522.imageshack.us/img522/9186/part9017.jpg)
Haven't looked at my card for a while. I'm currently loaded with dosh, 3/8ths hipster, and I still look like a gimp.
![[Image: part9018.jpg]](http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/1134/part9018.jpg)
I DARE
![[Image: part9019.jpg]](http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/1583/part9019.jpg)
I WILL TAKE YOUR TM, OLD MAN, NOT BECAUSE YOU ASK, BUT BECAUSE I CAN.
![[Image: part9020.jpg]](http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/6375/part9020.jpg)
Oh, look. Repeated combat has made Lex Luthor the... fourth pokemon to evolve, I think.
![[Image: part9021.jpg]](http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/3955/part9021.jpg)
Glooooooooooooooooooooooom and doooooooooooooooooooooooom![/chocolatetyjoke]
![[Image: part9022.jpg]](http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/7822/part9022.jpg)
Here's my catch for Route 114.
![[Image: part9024.jpg]](http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/4674/part9024.jpg)
A fitting name. When I get around to it, I shall train his donkey.
![[Image: part9025.jpg]](http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/3228/part9025.jpg)
Oh yeeeah. *slicks back hair/hat thing, straightens jacket*
![[Image: part9026.jpg]](http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/6052/part9026.jpg)
Here I go, time for some very, very hot coffee.
![[Image: part9027.jpg]](http://img121.imageshack.us/img121/9141/part9027.jpg)
Phew. That LANETTE... I wasn't expecting anything like that. I had her beat in the end, though.
She can't drink as much hot coffee as I. Close, though.
![[Image: part9028.jpg]](http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/7830/part9028.jpg)
Oh, look. Art of distraction has allowed me to get to Meteor Falls without you noticing.
![[Image: part9029.jpg]](http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/5131/part9029.jpg)
...I don't want a Zubat.
![[Image: part9030.jpg]](http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/7632/part9030.jpg)
There, it is done. The zubat lies dead, and I shall catch nothing. Which is a shame, I would have loved to catch a Bagon or something.
![[Image: part9031.jpg]](http://img810.imageshack.us/img810/1732/part9031.jpg)
'allo, 'allo, what's all this, then?
![[Image: part9032.jpg]](http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/1298/part9032.jpg)
TEAM MAGMA! These fags are the ones seperating me from the caaaAAAAAABLE CAAAAR
![[Image: part9033.jpg]](http://img836.imageshack.us/img836/1457/part9033.jpg)
Whoops. My lust for the... vehicle on a... taut... cable... has alerted them to my presence.
>implying it won't be you who needs the mercy
![[Image: part9036.jpg]](http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/1129/part9036.jpg)
Oh?
![[Image: part9038.jpg]](http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/4294/part9038.jpg)
Oh look, it's the Pirates! Ecoterrorists and pirates, in the same room! Who'da thunk it?
![[Image: part9039.jpg]](http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/9173/part9039.jpg)
I spoke too soon, suicide?
![[Image: part9040.jpg]](http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/3401/part9040.jpg)
Okay, not suiciding, just running like a bitch.
![[Image: part9041.jpg]](http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/1365/part9041.jpg)
As predicted, they ran like the little bitches they are.
![[Image: part9042.jpg]](http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/5387/part9042.jpg)
No, it was another kid with a hairhat and lycra pants.
![[Image: part9043.jpg]](http://img688.imageshack.us/img688/5816/part9043.jpg)
Spoon, he's good. I never even said anything, his mystical Pirate powers have pulled the name from the recesses of my miiiind!
Oh, wait, my TRAINER card is on the ground. Sneaky bastard.
![[Image: part9045.jpg]](http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/7968/part9045.jpg)
It's nice to see someone who isn't me recognize this.
![[Image: part9046.jpg]](http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/6716/part9046.jpg)
I noticed.
Using the ancient Pirate art of "legging it", TEAM AQUA ran in pursuit of TEAM MAGMA.
I decided to shoot the breeze with the scientist the MAGMA-fags were roughing up before.
![[Image: part9051.jpg]](http://img573.imageshack.us/img573/6494/part9051.jpg)
Way to go, poindexter. You didn't even consider that they were planning nefarious deeds? You could have been raped, or worse! (Worse: Fed to a Dickwolf, a creature made entirely of penises and only capable of rape)
![[Image: part9054.jpg]](http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/4407/part9054.jpg)
For a scientist, he's not that bright.
![[Image: part9055.jpg]](http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/4716/part9055.jpg)
Alright, time to go to Mt. Chimney... LOOK OVER THERE, IT'S BATMAN!
![[Image: part9056.jpg]](http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/7480/part9056.jpg)
Ha! You didn't even notice that I was here until just now, did you? Fools!
Now, the MAGMA goons are not blocking my path to... the... CaaaaAAAAAABLE CAAAAAR!
![[Image: part9057.jpg]](http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/7172/part9057.jpg)
HNNNNNGH CABLE CAR
![[Image: part9058.jpg]](http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/2172/part9058.jpg)
OH YES OH GOD YES
![[Image: part9059.jpg]](http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/1484/part9059.jpg)
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABLE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
![[Image: part9060.jpg]](http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/2176/part9060.jpg)
Well. One ride on the... no. I can't say it, now's not the time.
I'm at the summit!
![[Image: part9061.jpg]](http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/1968/part9061.jpg)
The Pirate captain is doing very well at battling three goons at once.
![[Image: part9063.jpg]](http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/9565/part9063.jpg)
Aw spoon, nigga
![[Image: part9065.jpg]](http://img638.imageshack.us/img638/300/part9065.jpg)
This looks like a delicate operation. It's a shame I'm as delicate as a bull in a china-shop, or a sledgehammer made out of nitroglycerin.
![[Image: part9068.jpg]](http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/830/part9068.jpg)
BOSS NIGGA, THAT'S WHO
![[Image: part9070.jpg]](http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/2862/part9070.jpg)
You could say that. "chocolateting all over their meatstick-parade" would probably be closer to the truth.
![[Image: part9071.jpg]](http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/3173/part9071.jpg)
Like I told him, it could have been another kid endowed with a titanic schlong.
![[Image: part9072.jpg]](http://img808.imageshack.us/img808/7951/part9072.jpg)
I'm already doing it, ain't I?
![[Image: part9076.jpg]](http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/2092/part9076.jpg)
This won't take long. RAMIREZ, BREAK EVERYTHING HE OWNS
![[Image: part9078.jpg]](http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/4213/part9078.jpg)
No, Ramirez is just very good at doing everything.
![[Image: part9080.jpg]](http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/162/part9080.jpg)
If it was, I'd be upset. Pirates are fun, but beating up you fags is more so.
![[Image: part9081.jpg]](http://img836.imageshack.us/img836/5638/part9081.jpg)
Hm?
![[Image: part9082.jpg]](http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/8141/part9082.jpg)
Oh, ARCHIE, I cornered MAX- what. He's gone, the crafty fudgeer!
![[Image: part9083.jpg]](http://img580.imageshack.us/img580/5673/part9083.jpg)
Yes, quite. I think a 80/20 split in my favor, on any treasure you dig up in the future should balance the debt.
![[Image: part9084.jpg]](http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/2077/part9084.jpg)
I AM ON TEAM JACOB, BITCH
(jk, I hate twilight and it's fans with a passion)
![[Image: part9087.jpg]](http://img412.imageshack.us/img412/816/part9087.jpg)
And with that, he does a Batman and vanishes. I turn my attention to the doodad that MAXIE was playing with.
![[Image: part9088.jpg]](http://img809.imageshack.us/img809/456/part9088.jpg)
Translation: Do I want to break his spoon? The answer is obviously yes.
![[Image: part9089.jpg]](http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/2114/part9089.jpg)
I AM FILLED WITH MALEVOLENT GLEE
Meanwhile, at Fallarbor town...
![[Image: part9091.jpg]](http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/6593/part9091.jpg)
Yeah, that move was pretty retarded.
![[Image: part9093.jpg]](http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/6079/part9093.jpg)
Looking for... THIS?
![[Image: part9095.jpg]](http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/3848/part9095.jpg)
Perhaps...
![[Image: part9097.jpg]](http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/3253/part9097.jpg)
I can't belive I'm trading a super-rare space-rock for a common TM. I must be going senile or something.
![[Image: part9098.jpg]](http://img716.imageshack.us/img716/8288/part9098.jpg)
Glad you think so.
![[Image: part9099.jpg]](http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/3707/part9099.jpg)
WHOO!
![[Image: part9100.jpg]](http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/2066/part9100.jpg)
This guy looks shifty. Perhaps I can crack him...
![[Image: part9101.jpg]](http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/7910/part9101.jpg)
What am I doing here? That's what I was gonna ask you, chocolatehead.
![[Image: part9102.jpg]](http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/5345/part9102.jpg)
Yes, fudgehead, are you deaf?
![[Image: part9103.jpg]](http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/3583/part9103.jpg)
*sound of TEAM MAGMA goon getting seven kinds of spoon kicked out of him*
![[Image: part9105.jpg]](http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/6025/part9105.jpg)
Hm. I don't think he's gonna fess up.
![[Image: part9106.jpg]](http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/8165/part9106.jpg)
Lavaridge! The number-1-most-annoying-town-to-get-to!
![[Image: part9107.jpg]](http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/4964/part9107.jpg)
Ladies.
![[Image: part9108.jpg]](http://img808.imageshack.us/img808/3630/part9108.jpg)
Oh look, this chocolatehole has a GYM, too.
![[Image: part9109.jpg]](http://img407.imageshack.us/img407/3254/part9109.jpg)
Thank you, captain obvious. I never would have guessed.
As I beat the stuffing out of FLANNERY's bodyguards...
![[Image: part9111.jpg]](http://img291.imageshack.us/img291/606/part9111.jpg)
Look! Now he can do everything better and faster than before!
Alright, I'm at FLANNERY. Here's my team:
![[Image: part9112.jpg]](http://img576.imageshack.us/img576/9250/part9112.jpg)
As you might have guessed, Ramirez will be carrying the team.
![[Image: part9114.jpg]](http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/8711/part9114.jpg)
PUNY? I WILL CRUSH YOU UNDER THE UNSTOPPABLE WEIGHT OF MY MASSIVE DONG
![[Image: part9115.jpg]](http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/1664/part9115.jpg)
Christ, woman, make up your mind.
![[Image: part9118.jpg]](http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/8619/part9118.jpg)
I wouldn't dream of it, darling.
CLIFFHANGER!
I had to stop working and close up, and I couldn't be arsed finishing the fight today, so I'll leave it until next week.