well, this morning i had an english language GCSE exam.

the paper was split into 2 sections with the first asking us questions on a story about an african boy who finds a deer being eaten by ants.

the second section was a little more interesting. the first question asked us to describe being on a bus in a traffic jam because of roadworks. i ended up talking about pot noodles and transit vans (some of my favourite things in the world ;) ).

the second question wee had to write a story based on one of five themes. i can't remember what the were but i wrote about a day at the seaside. i like to break the mould a little so instead of writing about how excited and happy i was i said i hated it.

what i wrote in the exam Wrote:i don't believe in sun cream. a UV ray that's somehow managed to survive the blitzkreig of earth's upper atmosphere isn't going to be stopped by a thin film of grease

someting else i wrote Wrote:so out of sheer boredom i went for a walk. Bad idea. i can understand the concept of walking if it has a purpose. if the car breaks down then you walk to the telephone box. if your desired destination is only a short distance away then its quicker and easier to walk. but the use of the word 'walk' as a noun bewilders me. the concept of 'going for a walk' has never quite made sense. walking for entertainment? So, after two hours of falling down sand dunes, i stumbled back to the car with sand in places i didn't know i had, cooked to a 'well-done' degree, and wheezing from sand inhalation. spotting the car was the most relieving moment of my life.

anybody who's read any of the Jeremy Claskson books will see where my writing style and inspiration come from. in fact I've pretty much quoted that thing about suncream. i just hope the examiner hasn't read any of the books.

you do 'argue, explain, describe'. wee have PEE 'Point, evidence, explain'

he's lucky.... i had to follow that up with a history exam.... I'll never look at apartheid or the nazis in the same way again..... i also forgot passive resistance in welsh and put a load of spoon down