foriner:"herrow werkome toh michrohsopht shoepohrt haw maih ih beah oph asihtansans"



me:"yes id like to activate my copy of microsoft windows xp, i have used the other methids and have had no luck. i am not computer literate my code is:****-*****-****-****-*****

can you help me?"



foriner: "hon morment prz"

...

"eprughs meh i mush crontact meih supeeerihor"

...(5 mins later)

"plz hord whiele ih traphspher youh"



me:"shit.."



*shitty music from the 1600s*



bitch: (talking fast as shit) hello my name is ***** how may i help you.



me "i was enjoying the music but, yes id like to activate my copy of windows xp"



bitch: "home or profesinal?"



me "home"

...



bitch: serial number?



me "****-*****-****-****-*****"



bitch: what was that last bit?



me "*****"



bitch: speak more clearly please and slower.

...



me *-*-*-*-*



bitch: please waint.

...

(typing noises)

(talking)

(laughter)

(more typing)



bitch: it apears that your system has the capeabilitey to run microsoft windows vista would you like to upgrade your instalation?



me: no vista sucks.



(long nag about the joys of windos vista)



me: "mam?"



(more nagging)



me: "MAM!!!"



bitch: yes? theres no reson to speak so loudly into the phone i can hear you quite clearly.



me: i just want to register my copy of xp. i dont want vista or anyother operationg system. can i just activate windows xp?



bitch: one moment please.

(typing)



bitch: have you tried the serial number on your unit, located on the side or back. its a large sticker with a barcode, 

(interupts)



me: " i have already tried that, i just need the code your supost to give me"



bitch: acording to this your unit was shiped with (bla bla bla) and it apears that these where changed to something diffrent, is this corect?



me: yes i upgraded a few things, is that a problem?



bitch: yes, in acrodance with microsoft if you change more then three itoems in your computer at once we lable that as a whole new system which would explain why your key is not working.



me:(covers phone and yells "forking great!")

so what do i need to do to activate my copy of windows?



bitch: you need to purchase a new windows xp disk which will include a new key for your computer.



me: woh woh woh, hold the fork up, i have to buy a whole nother operating sysyem disk?



bitch: i would like to remind you at this time that all calls are,

(interupts)



me: monterd bla bla bla. i kno i kno, i just dont care.

so you mean to tell me that i have to order a disk for my computer from you and reinstall windows, again! and loose all of my documents?



bitch: that is corect, we have a disk that suits your purposes for the low fee of (insert a few hundred dollars here) would you like to order one of these disks?

...



me: if im buying a whole new operating system then why dont i just go out and buy a new computer?



bitch: "if you like we have a wide verity of computer to suit your needs our most popular modle is (shitty computer name here) pre instaled with windows vista.



me: "... these calls are monotard right?"



bitch "yes, for quality insurance"



me" right one moment please,"

(long pause followed by a deap breath)

...

HAVE YOU MICROSOFT FUCKTARDS LOST YOURE GODAMN MIND?!?

YOU GOING TO PLACE THIS SHIT HERE ON MY COMPUTER THAT I NEED TO REACTIVATE JUST BECUSE I UPGRADED FROM YOUR STOCK SHIT???

THEN WHEN I GOTO RE ACTIVARE IT I GET FUCKED OUT OF MY INTERNET, AND EVERYTHING ELSE BECUSE I HAD IT ACTIVATED FOR MORE THAN THIRTY DAYS SO YOU LEAVE THIS SHITTY NUMBER TO CALL, THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENCE WHY I HAVE TO CALL TO HAVE MY COMPUTER!



bitch: sir?



me: "SHUT THE FUCK UP IM NOT TALKING TO YOU, I KNOW THIS IS YOUR JOB BUT PLEASE LET THE GROWNUPS TALK HERE!"



bitch: sir there is no reson for this sort of behavior, this is a 2 way conversation-



me: DID I NOT SAY SILENCE MORTAL!

THIS IS BEING RECORDED IM LEAVEING A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP!

(LOUD ELECTRONIC BEEPING NOISE)



yes im leaving a message to mr. bill gates,

id like to tell him TO SMD!



have a nice day. *click*