Quote:Let's hear it for ULTRA-RANDY senior citizens who know what they want . . . and know what it takes to get it.  Even if, ya know, they're dangerous like this woman and end up in jail.

On Monday, 92-year-old Helen Staudinger of Fort McCoy, Florida visited her next door neighbor, 53-year-old Dwight Bettner.  And she had a very specific goal in mind:  Eff the 39-year age difference, she wanted to GET-IT-ON with him.

Only Dwight wasn't into Helen.  And when she said she wouldn't leave unless they MADE OUT, he slammed the door on her.

So 92-year-old Helen responded by going home, grabbing her .380 semi-automatic handgun . . . and firing FOUR SHOTS into Dwight's house.  Dwight was hit by some debris but wasn't seriously injured.  Then he called the cops.

When they got there, Helen told them she was shooting at, quote, "his car that he loved so much."  She was arrested for two felonies:  Aggravated assault and firing into an occupied dwelling.  She's still locked up today.

Dwight told the cops that he's had issues with Helen trying to get all up on him before.  Quote, "I feel she is enamored with [me]."  He says he even tried to introduce Helen to his girlfriend once . . . after which she threatened to shoot him.