i read all of that and it's a great insight

i don't like drugs either, imo they ruin people... regardless of what they say about it. but i do joke

i spend a lot of my time, relationship wise... being the person everyone "likes as a friend".

I don't know what it is, or what kind of vibe i give off. But before i know it, any girl i have a remote interest would say something like:

"I don't think of you that way" or "I don't want to affect our friendship"

Honestly, it pisses me off no end and i wish i could be more to someone than their friend.

I work hard at what i do, and i try to get good grades. But i always feel lonely, and have paranoia of people's opinions of me.

I watch anime of course as well, it is a release for me. To a world where only the moment matters, and people have fun. "Seize the day" as they say.

Call me sad, call me anything... i sometimes feel im losing the will to care.