Alright, so this is something I've never tried before, but I want to see if anyone's down to do this...

Recently one of my very good friends (his name is Christian) has, it would seem, been ignoring and/or avoiding me. I text him to see if he wants to hang out; no reply. I send him a comment on Facebook; he replies, I reply, then he never replies again and nothing good comes out of it. I don't know what the fudge is up with him as wee've been best friends for a few years now and for him to suddenly just stop talking to me at all is confusing the god damn fudgeing spoon out of my donkey.

All in all, I was about to send him a very "nice" message on Facebook to see if that would get his attention. So wee come to what this thread holds in store; if someone here needs to rant or let out their anger, now's you're chance. I'm in a pretty decent mood right now so if I just sent him a message myself it probably wouldn't be very offensive (trust me, the more offensive it is, the more likely he'll find it amusing and reply to it--the guy is a sick mother fudgeer, and pretty racist too). So if you're up to it, reply with a "nice" (very offensive, in truth) message to him in this thread, asking why he hasn't been talking to me and what the fudge is up. If it's good enough I'll send him the message and wee'll see if it works. Oh, and to get some motivation going, I'll give some E-pigs to someone who replies with a decent message (how much is a lot? I'll give you that much).

tl;dr: My best friend has been avoiding me, please reply with a rant to my friend Christian, asking him why he's not been talking to me recently (make it offensive and/or racist). You will recieve E-pigs if it's good enough.

P.S. He's a pretty big fat white dude who's fluent in German and is extremely racist and almost legally has Tourette's. Maybe that will help. Oh, and he likes playing Diablo II, WoW, and Halo III. I don't know why that would be important, but who knows, right?