I have a few friends doing online tech support for many MNCs like MS, Sun etc. I have never been much into that field, preferring to work on the machine in real time, rather than telling someone why they are utterly dumb in a polite manner. (thought that is fun too.)

Anyways, here are a chosen golden conversation that I heard (recordings).. regarding PC trouble shooting (have many but most here wouldnt understand them till they did a little research, which kills the point of the joke!) By the way, no nationalities mentioned.. assume away!

ROFLCOPTERS

Conversation 1: Female calling Tech Support regarding lagging windows.
Female: Well, I was working on my PC since this morning and now it doesn't respond. Its hopelessly slow!
Tech Support Guy: may I know your what applications you are running at the moment or were running at the time of the lag?
F: Yeah well, I was watching a movie, then was playing some music, some office documents and then was surfing the internet.
TSG: Is your PC still running or has it crashed? is it unresponsive?
F: Well its on! I have many Internet Explorers opened. But the mouse cursor doent move that freely.
TSG: Ma'am you mentioned that you have many browsers opened, so why don't you close all the open windows and then check if it solves the problem?
F:.... .... ... you sure that will work?
TSG: I think so ma'am. You PC might be over strained.
F: Alright, give me 5 minutes.. {puts TSG on hold}
TSG: ?????????
F: Alright I did what you asked, but the computer is still slow and almost unresponsive.
TSG: In that case, you might have to  manually reset your computer. I suggest that if you can, save any unsaved documents you may have and the press the small button located oabove the power button of the CPU case..
F: I know how to restart my computer!
TSG: That's good ma'am... I fear many people do not!
F: I see.. well my PC takes a while to startup, so is it ok if I open at least one window?
TSG: Ma'am?
F: Well, its stuffy in here, can I open at least one window?
TSG:{ double you tee eff MOTHA OF FUCKING HOMOGAWD MORON STUPID BITCH!!!} Sure ma'am! I think now everything will be fine!