Hey EP,

I'm not even sure why I make this thread right now as I should be in bed and sleeping but Endless Paradigm always was like my internet-home to me... I know I will get nothing from writing this thread and it won't change anything and I also don't try to fish for sympathy but I somehow wanted to write this down still...

My dog seems to have suffered from a stroke last night. She wasn't really able to move and was really weak... I mean all this isn't a surprise, she is 14 years old already but this still doesn't make the whole thing easier. Ever since I was 10 years old she was with me. Even when she was still a little puppy fitting with all four paws on my hands, she grew up with me and I knew for the past 14 years this time will come and I always though the future me can handle it somehow but I can't...

I distracted myself all day with playing DOTA2, I didn't want to think about it since I'm a coward I couldn't even accompany her to the vet today since seeing her in that state, it made me want to crouch in a corner and hide myself under a blanket... the vet said she has a 50:50 chance of recovery though if she doesn't get better by Monday it's likely the end. I'm not even a religious person but I'm praying for her to get better, even if she is old there are still so many times I want to pet her and hug her and play fetch with her and see her being brave and bark at dogs way bigger than her and chasing fly's that annoy her and licking my face and barking in excitement when she hears me coming and everything...

She lives at my father's house and ever since wee moved out I saw her maybe once a week and I feel horrible because of it, I always wanted to visit my dad and her more often though I always kept telling myself "I still have time enough" and now the time is running out... I just hope she gets better again and I get a second chance. I know some people might not understand this but this dog... she is like a family-member to me, a relative, a friend and this hurts me as much as seeing a human being in this state...

And I should probably head to sleep, it's almost 5:30am...

man sky that's terrible, i have had cats that've grown up with me too who have passed away. Especially my previous cat who lived with my dad, Guinness, meant a lto to me and I know what you're going through. My cat before that, Foggy, had a stroke also, which was awful. If you need a chat you know where I am :3

Although, I've never had puppy more than 6 months, it sucks losing them.  Even in that seemingly short amount of time you grow attached to them.  Sometimes I still think about my first puppy Rex that I got when I was 7, and it still makes me cry.

I really do hope your dog pulls through ^_^

Hang in there, bro. My dog had a 50:50 chance too and it survived. So will yours!

wee once have a dog way back when i was in grade school, when our dog die all of my brothers and sisters have emotionally attached to our dog, so after that wee have never get another dog because wee might get again depressed again

I suppose I should update this thread^^;; I didn't really feel like it before but now it's alright :)

And well first of all I want to thank each of you who replied! Even if it looked like I abandoned the thread after making it I read every reply and it really helped me and showed again why EP and everyone here is one of the best forums with the best people! :D Regarding my dog, she made it! For a few days it didn't look like it but the medicine the vet prescribed she slowly started to get better again and he also said if things go well she will have another two years, maybe a bit more! The only downside is, she can't move all that well anymore, she walks a bit shaky and it takes her a bit to sit down when she wants to, though she still scratches on tables when there is fun ontop she wants, she again barks at other dogs no matter her state and she still goes crazy happy whenever someone visits so I guess that went well all in all thankfully^^ I have been visiting her much more often now and she thanks me for that for making me always fetch the food she can't reach and pulling at my jeans I'm really happy and grateful that she made it and everyone in my family, after she was over the worst it was like a sunshine that came down on my whole family! And I guess I should also reply to each of you personally^^

@Tetris:
Ehehe I admit when all that happened I felt like "To hell with everything..." for a while but yeah luck was indeed on our side so thanks! :D And about DOTA2, sure why not though so far I ever only played bot-matches and I'm only really good with Drow Ranger^^;;

@Proper:
Thanks and I'm sorry about your cats too >.< I'm sure they gave you a wonderful time and were awesome cats, every single pet is something specials and unique in their own ways and seeing how amazing the cats of a friend of mine are it must have been great and fun to grow up along with them... ughh I'm sorry if that all sounds a bit weird, I just can't write properly what I want to express, I'm really bad with that kind of thing >.< Well if anything I know how you must have felt too and even if death is part of life nobody should have to go through that :( Also thanks for the offer to talk, I know wee rarely talk nowdays, I always want to write you and Sensei-chan but I never really know what to say besides "Hi, how are you?^^" And then I never do it >.< But I really appreciate it and I guess wee should just chat again sometimes^^

@Vegetano:
Ahaha well I didn't get a XXL juicy bone though alot of the meat-snacks she likes so thanks

@Vacui:
Well I know wee talked about it before but I will say it here again, I'm really sorry what happened  to Rex and your other puppies... *hug* And yeah no matter how short the time is pets still affect someone and just connect to our hearts though I guess it's the same for them, no matter how short they are with us a great owner and friend it will affect them in the same way! And as I said to Proper before sorry if that sounds weird I just never find the right words for what I want to say >.< And thanks for being there the other day!^^

@Funky:
Thank you for that too, I really appreciated it and I'm glad your dog made it aswell!^^

@krystabegnalie :
I'm sorry to hear that... it's really like this, even if you know it eventually will happen and even if you think you can handle you can never really be prepared for that kind of thing >.< That's really something everyone has to decide for themselves before getting a pet, I know when my first dog passed away after a mere year my mum and me cried two days straight >.<

@YoYo:
Thank you very much I appreciate your words too YoYo :)

Also this might sound weird but I really felt like every post here really helped me to not feel so alone and lost when it happened so really thanks again to everyone, EP and it members are one of the greatest and best things around!^^

Yay! I'm happy your dog is fine :) It's such an awesome feeling :)