ZiNgA BuRgA
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If Life was a Comedy/Romance
Yeah, I love those silly comedy/romance animes! It would be awesum if it was real life, wouldn't it?
Now, let's imagine.
If you were a guy (and life was a comedy/romance thing): - Ever had the thought that you've been living for 16 years without a girlfriend? Don't worry! Cause the next day, you'll get
one three (or four), typically with different hair colours. Your chances are higher if it's your birthday.
- You'll pretty much never see any old women. Probably the oldest you'll meet would be around young adult age, with most being high school age, and a few primary schoolers.
- The majority of people who help you, or work with you, will just happen to be female.
- The female school uniform usually involves short skirts.
- For maximum chance of winning over a girl's heart, say that your parents are both dead. The catch? Make sure she never discovers the truth, unless, that is the truth.
- When you go to first meet your future girlfriend, if you save her from being run over, or kidnapped, or being robbed of something, she'll instantly (or rather quickly) gain a crush on you.
- If you didn't win her heart from saving her from something, she'll love you due to a crush she's been having on you, supposedly, for a few years. Or it's a relationship forced upon you two by the Government (or other authoritative figure). Or maybe some random childhood promise you apparently made.
- There's this idea that if you manage to see a girl naked, or touch her in certain places, she'll somehow lose her virginity, or something, and will be "bound" to you (ie she'll think she can't marry anyone else).
- Don't try to run away from her - she'll always find you - if not actively, then by coincidence.
- About 40% of the time, she'll be your age. About 45% of the time, she'll be younger. And the other 15%, she'll be older than you.
- If you're ever caught in class, all the guys will be jealous of you, including your male teacher (if your teacher is male).
- If she ever says something like "please understand, I have no feelings for <you>, my heart lies with <some other guy>", she is telling a lie (whether she knows it or not).
- If she's the active type, and you're passive, try to enjoy her flirting and "flashing" rather than turn completely red in the face, and run away and hide from embarrassment (how do you get embarrassed if you're not the one involved, I don't know).
- Likewise, don't try to get too worked up over falling on top of her or seeing under her skirt. Chances are, those sorts of situations won't be too rare.
- If she's the passive type, and your passive too, be prepared for lots of fun, trying to communicate with each other.
- If you're the active type of person, well, unfortunately, you can't be...
- Kissing her, without others noticing, is a lot more difficult than you think.
- Even if you don't manage to kiss her, there'll be someone watching your attempt to do so.
- Get used to being called perverted.
- Your admirers will fight with each other. If you get involved, you'll only be putting issues on your back. If you don't involve yourself, who knows what would happen...
- Think you'll never love her? Tough bikkies - you will. And she'll be literally throwing herself at you. If she does that, at least accept some things she offers, to make sure you gain the greatest advantage, rather than act stuck up and mindlessly refuse everything (since you're apparently going to eventually give in anyway).
- You'll certainly be questioned about your relationship by others. If asked, just calmly say you're just friends, and she'll pause, and agree, stuttering a "yeah".
- A time may come when her family decides to move away. If this occurs, one of two things will happen - she'll either move in with you (most likely), or she'll go away, and come back the next day.
I'll try to think up more points later on ;)
(This post was last modified: 20/04/2008 06:49 AM by ZiNgA BuRgA.)
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