It has certainly been quite a while since our last product launch here.  Wee've been spending two months preparing for Christmas celebrations, then half a month after cleaning up, so you can see, wee've been busy.

Still, wee've managed to come up with brilliant new ideas, like wee always do.

To reiterate our vision, wee here at Useful Products Inc believe in making useful products, which solve REAL world problems efficiently.
"It's because it's sooo useful!"


Now onto what you've all been waiting for - our next product:

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The Problem
Wee've had much success with our Anti-AIDS Underwear, however, one of the many customers who gave feedback over the Christmas break kindly pointed out that the underwear is virtually useless against rape.

Our Solution
After some thorough research, it seems that many cases of rape don't involve the use of condoms, which probably explains why they can be a prevalent source of AIDS.  To address this issue, using our brilliant minds, wee've designed the Rape Condoms.  These condoms are specifically designed for rapists alike, so now rapists have no reason not to use a condom.

Now before you get excited, please understand that wee most definitely do not condone rape.  But wee also understand that sometimes there's that unreachable person you just must have, so wee're here to cater for this market you.  And I'm sure you'd rather get raped safely (or RIP (raped in peace)), over getting both raped and AIDS, so it's a win-win situation.

Features

• The condoms can be worn before you go out to search for victims, allowing maximum time efficiency (so you don't have to fumble around around the victim)
  
• The design gives you maximum comfort, at the expense of the victim
  
• The condoms are designed to leave practically no DNA evidence on the victim
  
• The condoms are also coated with a special anesthetic type thing, which, in 40% of cases, make the victim incredibly drowsy after the event (and makes them less lively during it as well) and forget what happened during the last 10 minutes
  
• Comes with a 200 page manual covering how to maximise the use of this product, as well as rape efficiency and techniques
  

Wee believe the Rape Condoms are an excellent product at a bargin price, especially if you consider the potential cost of living your life in jail.
Like usual, for this promotion, wee've reduced our prices by a whole 1%, yes that's 1%!!!!  Get it quickly now.
Please note, wee only accept payment in slaves which are AIDS-free young girls.

(This post was last modified: 17/01/2009 11:00 PM by Sparker.)