Wee here at Useful Products Inc. believe in creating useful products.  From now on, wee'll be promoting some of our merchandise on offer every so often.
"It's because it's sooo useful!"


To kickstart our campaign, wee'll start off by introducing you to one of our products.

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The PC Cooker

Admit it, your PC runs hot.  It's wasting useful energy on creating heat.  So instead of paying hundreds for water cooling, how about trying to make use of this heat?

Our PC Cooker does the job.  With state of the art heat sinks and heat piping technology, it's a completely passive, fanless design that will remove the heat from that 8.0GHz (crazy overclocked) Intel processor and pump it into your food.

At 9:00am, just plop your lunch in the tray in front of your computer, and then start pwning some random n00bs whilst your computer starts pwning your lunch.  Saves time and money - no need to even bother going to the kitchen to cook anything, your PC gives you your food.


There is a known side effect however.  Due to the increased laziness, people have been gaining abnormal amounts of fat due to our invention.  Since wee are a 100% trustworthy and friendly company, whose best interests lie in social well being, wee have developed the PC Fat Burner.  It's like a liposuction treatment, however, in your own home!  Just plug in the system into 10 free USB ports and the other end into your stomach and your computer will start burning away that excess fat.
Wee've also included an accompanying game to encourage this good health practice.  The game will show you live images from inside your body (and thus has awesome graphics), and, armed with an AK-47, you can blast all that fat to hell.  Oh, and you get to feel the effects instantly too.  Admittedly, the levels aren't too progressive, and neither is the audio exactly exciting (although realistic).



So order your PC Cooker and PC Fat Burner today!  Wee've slashed prices by a whole 1% for this promotion.
Please note that wee only accept payment in slaves.

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Testimonials

ZOMG double you tee eff? - a random person on a forum

This is jokingly good. - PC Magazine review

I PWN YOU NUBS! - gamer who has bought our system, but is too engaged in his own activities to give us an honest testimonial

hummmm thanks but no thanks. I like how my ps3 cooker never over cooks my steak.

ZiNgA BuRgA Wrote:...just plop your lunch in the tray in front of your computer, and then start pwning some random n00bs whilst your computer starts pwning your lunch...