Endless Paradigm

Due to my last anger blow up and addition to said amount of things from my girlfriend's parents and family. It is unfortunate to say she has decided to break up with me.

At first I thought you know that I would be terribly sad to have her do that to me.

But to have her just say I have been lying to her and cheating on her and calling her ugly all this time. To have her accuse me of being the exact thing I have been avoiding. She said that I was a jerk and that I was breaking her from her family. She called me mentally unstable and threatened to call suicide watch on me.

And sure maybe I did get mad at her sometimes and maybe she took things the wrong way. But you know what. I owned up to my problems and started telling my mom about my problems. Hell I even started to go to therapy to fix things.

But she said I didn't fix it fast enough. 12 sessions of therapy and she said I amounted to nothing.

BULLchocolate!!!

Spoon like that takes time. She told me to mature up. To be more of a man so I can date her again. Is that right?

Does that mean I have to change for her? Cause I don't want to do that.

By mature she wants me to change the way I react to certain things. She wants me to be more honest in the sense if she asls me one of those 'Am I fat?' kind of question she wants me to be honest about it.

Or how she wants me to get a job....I have been trying to get one.
Or how I should learn to drive.....I am learning but you know I don't need a permit to drive.

She just doesn't trust me anymore.

But she bases her trust on truths or deeds that are shown through hard evidence.

And supposedly since I don't have a permit, I havent been learning, therefore I have been lying to her. becuase I haven't gotten a job, I never applied, therefore I have been lying to her.

I used to see her as a big part of my foundation and I used to say that 'i love her' but im not so sure anymore.

Cause since she has broken up, I have that feeling like a big weight was lifted off my back. Sure I am sad but I feel free.

She wants to give me all her gifts I gave her back. (now that I think about it today, she even accused me that I didn't her any gifts) she gave me back the diamond necklace I got her that cost me my birthday money/christmas money and she said that if I saw her in the next 3-4 months she would have her brothers go and kick my donkey.

I responded that I would charge them for battery.
she responded saying that she wouldn't.
and when i went to rescind my earlier coment she called me a liar. (LOL)

But i digress.

Should I make the effort of changing so I can be with her, or should I date new people?

bump

Sounds like she's kinda greedy and stingy. Beggers can't be choosers...

LumpiaWarrior Wrote: [ -> ]But she bases her trust on truths or deeds that are shown through hard evidence.

And supposedly since I don't have a permit, I havent been learning, therefore I have been lying to her. becuase I haven't gotten a job, I never applied, therefore I have been lying to her.

well that's just wrong :/

idk .. seems like a lot to handle atm
but if you really love her
it would be nice if you guys got back together
and theres nothing wrong with changing for someone that you love

i think its best if you both try and make the relationship work

if it doesn't work out the 2nd time around.. well..

:/

Well, only you can make the decision of whether or not you should be with her or not, but usually when you're in a relationship and someone says that they love you, that means they accept you for you, not for who they want you to be.  So if she wants to change you, then the person she wants you to be is not really you.  Unless... you want to change for her, and you love her that much.

boogschd Wrote: [ -> ]

LumpiaWarrior Wrote: [ -> ]But she bases her trust on truths or deeds that are shown through hard evidence.

And supposedly since I don't have a permit, I havent been learning, therefore I have been lying to her. becuase I haven't gotten a job, I never applied, therefore I have been lying to her.

well that's just wrong :/

idk .. seems like a lot to handle atm
but if you really love her
it would be nice if you guys got back together
and theres nothing wrong with changing for someone that you love

i think its best if you both try and make the relationship work

if it doesn't work out the 2nd time around.. well..

:/

well it was the second time around... maybe even third

LumpiaWarrior Wrote: [ -> ]Should I make the effort of changing so I can be with her, or should I date new people?

If you don't really love her any more, and feel like she's a burden, and your relationship's at the stage where she threatened to get her brothers to beat you up...

I say it's time to drop it and date new people.



But ultimately, I don't really know your situation beyond 2 minutes of reading what's here, so yeah, as Sick_Demented said, you're by far in the best position to be making that decision.

And... you probably shouldn't be listening to any advice from me, on matters of romance... as it's not one of my strong subjects.

enjoy being single for a bit? :)

until someone comes along that you feel is worth the trouble :D

Sick_Demented99 Wrote: [ -> ]when you're in a relationship and someone says that they love you, that means they accept you for you, not for who they want you to be.

so much this.

boogschd Wrote: [ -> ]enjoy being single for a bit? :)

until someone comes along that you feel is worth the trouble :D

also, this.

don't date someone just to date someone.

nurehtix Wrote: [ -> ]don't date someone just to date someone.

ive been at it for 8 years now


good god...