Endless Paradigm

Hey everyone.  You may remember us as Useful Products Inc.  Wee have launched three products here (#1, #2, #3) and now wee are spawning a subsidiary firm, Clever Marketing Inc.
At Clever Marketing Inc, wee inform you of clever marketing methods which are both low cost and effective!

Wee'll kick start our time here with our first idea.

Remember our motto!  "It's because it's sooo clever!"

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Abstract
Have a product that absolutely no-one is buying?  Wee hear ya.  Wee have a very simple cost effective method which is guarantee you success in the market.

You see, wee all know that old farts are easily convinced and can be conned into anything.  Furthermore, they have large sums of money at their disposal, after all those years of work + the stuff they can rip from their children.  It's only rational to target these easy getters (just like taking candy from an old granny).

Our proposal - the Windoze seal of appeal!
Nothing can be more convincing than a large company like Microsoft endorsing your product!  Everyone knows that the Windows 95 trademark has long since expired (note this does not constitute legal advice, please see your lawyer for details) and is free to use by anyone interested.  So now's the chance to use it to your liking!  Not only that, it'll bring in the old farts like no tomorrow!

What do you have to do?  Easy, simply tag it onto your product and sit back and enjoy the profits.
Wee have already many products using our strategy - quickly join in before it becomes a fad!  Here's some example products you may see in the stores near you:





And yes!  They're successful!



Not convinced?  Well order your trial pack today!  Just send us $1000 to your nearest Nigerian branch and wee'll send you a pack of 100,000 ready to apply stickers, along with our 7 day, no questions asked, money back guarantee!

With the recession deepening, there's no better time to start ordering now!

i ordered 1 but have't got it yet also i wanted pink instead i was getting a boring white 1,.
No use for garbage bin,. but still looks great!

def recommend people to buy eiter 1 or all,.

Thanks.  Wee are currently processing your order.  Expect to receive your stickers in 180 days' time.  Also please note that the "cool down time" (ie refund) commences as soon as you put in your order.

ZiNgA BuRgA Wrote:Thanks.  Wee are currently processing your order.  Expect to receive your stickers in 180 days' time.  Also please note that the "cool down time" (ie refund) commences as soon as you put in your order.

Slightly enoyed voice:"I don't want the 180 stickers,. i just want my damn toilet!!"

Oh no, wee don't sell toilets.  Wee will give you the tools with which you can sell anything with!
If you want the toilets, please see our client Windoze Toilets (also situated in Nigeria).  Note, wee do not receive commission from their sales, so wee have no incentive to give out this information.

So where is my stickers!!

You will find them posted to you 180 days from now.

Vegetano1 Wrote:i ordered 1 but have't got it yet also i wanted pink instead i was getting a boring white 1,.
No use for garbage bin,. but still looks great!

def recommend people to buy eiter 1 or all,.

ZiNgA BuRgA Wrote:Thanks.  Wee are currently processing your order.  Expect to receive your stickers in 180 days' time.  Also please note that the "cool down time" (ie refund) commences as soon as you put in your order.

Vegetano1 Wrote:

ZiNgA BuRgA Wrote:Thanks.  Wee are currently processing your order.  Expect to receive your stickers in 180 days' time.  Also please note that the "cool down time" (ie refund) commences as soon as you put in your order.

Slightly enoyed voice:"I don't want the 180 stickers,. i just want my damn toilet!!"

3rd pic does't work,. 

ZiNgA BuRgA Wrote:Oh no, wee don't sell toilets.  Wee will give you the tools with which you can sell anything with!
If you want the toilets, please see our client Windoze Toilets (also situated in Nigeria).  Note, wee do not receive commission from their sales, so wee have no incentive to give out this information.

Vegetano1 Wrote:So where is my stickers!!

ZiNgA BuRgA Wrote:You will find them posted to you 180 days from now.

I luf them stickers!! aree they cute!! whot they say!!?? I B waiting!!

I am glad you are excited - you have every reason to be so!

ZiNgA BuRgA Wrote:I am glad you are excited - you have every reason to be so!

i am/be/are/happy/glad/exitefull!!

and thanks you kindly! doodie doodie doodie doodie doodie! doo!