Okay, read through a bit - amendment comments in red.

theEvilOne Wrote:"Why am I awake?" he thought to himself. Slowly, he opened his eyes, discontinuation - try to make the two ideas flow better together, or separate the sentences the rays from the early-morning sun streaming streaming or streamed? in through the window to his left. He stretched his arms and lazily let them fall back down onto the bed as he usually did each morning, but this time something was different. He was stretched out in the middle of his bed, but his wife wasn’t there next to him as she should have been.
“What?” he suddenly asked aloud, more a groan than anything did he groan or ask?, and sprang up in bed. Looking around he knew his wife was nowhere I'd prefer using the word "not" over "nowhere" here (or perhaps "nowhere to be found") in the room as - but is it appropriate to link the sentences here? the door to the bathroom was open, the lights inside turned off, and the door that led out to the hallway was closed and locked. His heart lurching in his chest, he quickly turned to look at the window across the room to his left again, and as he did, it seemed as if everything in the room had lost all color, and he was seeing the world in pictures of stop-motion. But the window was closed and locked, unbroken, and his wife was surely safe difficult to follow the line of logic here; if he suspected someone broke the window or she jumped out or similar, try to be a little more explicit. He sighed, thinking nothing of it of what?, and pulled the sheets off of him, the color and normality of the room restored with his belief that nothing was wrong.

If that was helpful at all, I might look through more.
If not, then I apologise.

(This post was last modified: 23/10/2009 07:02 PM by ZiNgA BuRgA.)