Magical Girls Face Mass Redundancy
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ZiNgA BuRgA
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Magical Girls Face Mass Redundancy
Following NASA's recent announcement to lay off thousands of rocket scientists, various intelligence agencies have tried to discreetly lay off staff after finding out about the MGD's amazing capabilities.
Wee were alerted to the issue after a number of sacked employees, who wish to remain anonymous, notified us of the situation.

Although their existence may surprise some, magical girls have often been tasked with operations from communicating with extraterrestrial life such as those which look like stuffed animals, to changing matter into other matter, as well as firing high powered lasers at enemy ships and intercepting enemy communications.  Most of these functions, however, can now be performed using a MGD.

"I want to use my power to protect the weak from harm," one magical girl told us.  "Now that I've been told that I can no longer do this, I feel useless and I'm very disappointed with this decision."

Wee approached the US Department of Defence and Japanese Secret Intelligence Agency, but they declined to comment on the issue.  However, they did mention that they believed the measures were "appropriate" and would greatly enhance national security, as well as allow taxpayer funding to be used more efficiently.


Magical girls work for practically no income, often being satisfied with merely being fed, and their moral sense of justice.  However, Professor Brack Osama, who specialises in magical research, told us that there are often other complications, which make operating around magical girls quite costly and difficult.
For one, feeding them can be difficult, especially after an operation.  Prof. Osama explained that magic consumes a lot of energy, and the law of conservation of energy implies that magical girls need to eat a lot to maintain their supply of energy.  For example, the energy required to maintain the force required for a short flight of 5 minute equals about the same amount of energy provided in 10 high calorie birthday cakes.  But, magical girls not only need to eat a lot, they need to be very conscious of their dietary balance, as eating too much can easily cause them to become overweight and hinder future operations.  Maintaining this balance requires strict monitoring by other staff, especially during feasting.  It is claimed that apparently one magical girl, Fate, downed 463 Big Macs after an operation to replenish her supplies.
Another difficulty is the strong influence of emotions that magical girls respond to.  It is known that having magical abilities seems to amplify the effect of emotions on the ability user.  Osama says that these emotions can sometimes make it difficult for intelligence agencies to operate some missions, whereas a mechanical device such as the MGD will not have such complications.

Most countries forbid using magic outside of the intelligence agency and it is against the law to even mention magical abilities in public.  As magical girls often have no other talents than their magical ability, finding alternative employment is usually difficult for them.
10/03/2011 07:45 PM
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RE: Magical Girls Face Mass Redundancy
With less Mahou Shojou employment, doesn't it also lead to sweet companies, particularly cake companies, losing money?

10/03/2011 09:17 PM
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ZiNgA BuRgA
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RE: Magical Girls Face Mass Redundancy
Losing money - no.  Most sweets companies produce enough volume to easily cover their fixed costs, and the majority of their costs are variable.
Despite eating a lot, there aren't many mahou shoujo in the world.
10/03/2011 09:58 PM
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