Yeah, it's an awkward title, but since this is an online forum where everyone goes under alias's and other unknown identities, I thought I'd speak my mind about this problem.
First off, I feel like computer science (at my university anyway) is a bit too much "babby" in the sense that wee do rather boorish things that feel as if I'm following a class made for arts students, where wee TALK a LOT about code but never get around to doing it (well actually, it is, there's a BA in computer science here).
Yeah, so it turns out that my degree is somewhat of a joke-ish, hopefully things will turn out better once I get past this second year course (some computer science courses really felt genuine).
Obviously at this point, I don't know whether I should hightail it off to chemistry/physics and try my luck in learning spoon that I would otherwise have trouble learning in my spare time (lets be serious here, it's really not difficult at all to program, fortunately there's many positions that need it so getting a job shouldn't be TOO hard.)
That and my department seems to be too "hipster" for my tastes, just today I walked in on my prof and he was totally Apple-fied, it was as if I walked into a graphic designers room (and before you start getting off of what I'm "implying", the reason behind that statement is that I didn't feel the vibe of a programming environment). I digress though, mac's are pretty nice computers and if you're totally balling like a prof with a P.H.D. I guess there wouldn't be any problems with having one.
Cept, he had and was using a magic track pad (or whatever apple calls it),
Wat.
Despairingly, I fell into a sort of depression over the week where I started doubting myself and everything I've been doing up until this point. What am I trying to prove? What do I want to do? How do I do it? Does anyone see any potential in me? Do I even see potential in myself? Where IS my life headed at this point? Am I deemed to a worthless life of living in my parents basement and leeching of their salaries?
etc.
I was so anguished that I was totally withdrawn from all hobbies (as absolutely nothing could cheer me up) and that included of that strange practice, masturbating.
and then, BAM. It was that day where I totally just said no to doing it (masturbating), that did my life, ever so slightly, change.
For one, I didn't feel like sleeping midway through the day. I also could discern and break down statements that were being conveyed to me, for once, I could understand a full sentence without having to guess what the person was getting at.
and I came to the conclusion I was looking for. It was simply this: (I think this also relates to a previous post, but alas, who reads these rants? Not I it seems XD)
If I want something, then I need to want it.
HERP HERP HERP DERP
Of course, what in the hell does this mean?
When you say you like something, you need to go through the means to achieve it. To achieve something, you need to be in your best condition so that you have a higher odds to do it. Every day brings possibility, possibility to move you towards whatever goal that you want accomplished.
and with that, I got my textbooks, read them, and started to move onwards with furthering my knowledge. It was clear that if I wanted this, then of course I wouldn't find material pertaining to it boring. I also remained abstinent from masturbation all together, though I do think there are repercussion's to such an act.
And it was just that! I finally knew how it felt to sit in your garage all day with a guitar in hand and jamming with your friends. Even when I did come to terms that I will never be as talented as all those highschool geniuses/coders/whatever that get hired at my age, I can STILL move onwards!
So, for all you TL;DR's out there (which is probably going to be 99% of readers), masturbation really tires you out, you will lead a lot more happier life if you control your urges (somewhat)
Also, no one buys knowledge and skill, it is YOU who gets that done with effort and your will to move onwards.
Which university you come from doesn't mean shit! >:( (as I have learnt here...)
I should get a new sig, I use to flip between those things like night and day when I was younger... :/