I've been honing my senses, staring at this waterfall, deriving what it means to be hipster, with my 8 badges and such.
I'd tell you what I've leaned, but it's pretty deep, I don't think you could comprehend how deep it truly is.

The depth of my thought has allowed me to pass, and rise to the top of the cliff, hereby achieving counter-depth.
Truly, I am wise and deep beyond knowledge.


A fitting name and motto. But, I spy a problem;

This is even more of a ghost town than Oldale, and that only had two houses and a pokemart, and yet it is still called a city? Very counter-culture.

A quick heal is in order and- wait, who's that next to me?

Oh, it's scott, that douchebag.

I'm glad I could vindicate what must have been a very small amount of work on your part.


I see he's going to cheat and try to swindle me out of my fortune... or something.


Fuck that asshole, man. I am so going to deny his donkey when he tries to sponge off me when I'm rich and famous.

---

The final obstacle: Victory Road.

I wonder what I get to capture today.

everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg


Not much to say about it, really, other than that Douk is back, baby. He's here to throw rocks and use strength, and he's all out of rocks.


Oh yeeeeah. Time for a test drive...

JUMPING JEHOSOPHAT

As a plus, though, I've managed to train Ramirez II: Spawn of Ramirez.

Hopefully, he will out-perform his father and I won't have to bury another of the Ramirez line.

---

I am accosted!

Fuck yes, I am, holy spoon
You're supposed to be de- ah, I mean, back in verdanturf.



Time to shut this delusional liberal down like the delusional liberal that he is.

He's playing with a full set, but clearly, not a full deck, to challenge me so casually.


No prizes for guessing how I killed this one.

HNNGH, my one true weakness! I could never lift a finger against my beloved fap material! (Although I could lift a hand for, hur hur hur)

Mr. Fish tries it on, and makes little progress. Without my supreme guidance, he is as effective as a newborn babe.

Gardevoir switches out for a magneton, so I settle for blaze-kicking it to death.
I am not a subtle man, nor do I rustle my jimmies to magnets. (Even though they are fudgein' magic.)

I entrust the task of beating seven flavors of spoon out of my waifu to Magnets.

Her sexy mind tricks are only marginally effective against Magnets.

Dead. Good night, sweet gardevoir.

WALLY's delcatty contracts foot-to-face disease. A lethal strain, there was nothing wee could do.


Nah, I'd get weaker over time. OF COURSE.

---

Not if I have anything to say about it...

Remember the WINSTRATES? You know, the family that I raped and mur- I mean, had a pleasant lunch and discussion with?
I think this is the oldest brother they screamed the name of before they diiiiiiiiiiined. Yes. Because they scream the names of loved ones who are absent when they eat.


Ah. Well, wee can't have that... say, I saw a TM down this really steep cliff... yes, that cliff over the sharp rocks. No, it's not a trap.

It was a trap.
Now there's just a few obstacles left to blow past before I'm out of the damn cave. I'm sick of fudgeing zubats and Golbats.

There's the exit, but before I go...

No, I'm not being followed. That's good. With any luck, the bodies should remain hidden for quite a while yet.

aaaaand I'm back in goddamn Evergrande.

I'm going to spew if there was an easy way around the cave.