ok there are two catergories here, those who are by themselves and will not be seeing any action, and those who will have action but will not be fapping. the standings are:

single:

trademark91
hecaitomix - 1 day, 23 hours, 57 minutes
Davis - 5 days
gamerlink
HawkeYe
ProperBritish - 3 hours
Syfe
Slushba132 - 24 hours
Xero1 - 1 day, 17 hours
dark_mirage - 1 day 18 hours
aspheric - 3 minutes
Super Idol Lunar-chan - 3 minutes
Silvertie - 0 minutes, 0 seconds: Fastest Failure!
Donuts240
Sick_Demented99

gf/fudgebuddy:

lumpiawarrior
nurehtix

if i forgot you, just let me know