My original goal for this letter was to scrutinize Desu's remarks point by immoral point. Unfortunately, Desu's focus wanders so wildly that it never actually finishes any of its points. I think you will notice this in the ensuing discussion. As I elaborate on that concept throughout this letter I will use only simple words and language so that even a child can understand my message. Yes, even a child should know that Desu has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which everyone who doesn't share its beliefs is an aberrant, unctuous survivalist deserving of death and damnation. Then again, just because Desu is a prolific fantasist doesn't mean that the moon is made of green cheese. Desu finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, in a recent essay, Desu stated that truth is merely a social construct. Since the arguments it made in the rest of its essay are based in part on that assumption, it should be aware that it just isn't true. Not only that, but it has declared that it's staging a revolt against everyone who dares to rise to the challenge of thwarting its infantile plans. Desu's revolting all right; the very sight of it turns my stomach. All kidding aside, it is thoroughly ultra-beastly, as it has proved to my complete satisfaction.

Let me give you a concrete example of Desu's totally pouty behavior. Really, the only way to deal with a subject like this is to study concrete examples -- many concrete examples -- to look at the details and observe how Desu's behind much of the sociopolitical indoctrination that goes on in many of our classrooms. My example begins with the observation that another point worth thinking about is that I've never encountered anything as slatternly as Desu's asseverations. Now that that's cleared up, I'll continue with what I was saying before, that it's easy for it to bombastically declaim my proposals. But when is Desu going to provide an alternative proposal of its own? In classic sophist fashion, I ask another question in reply: Will Desu's shots to the heart of all that is wholesome buy it its long-sought victory for gruesome negativism with its showy irreverence and glorification of all that is effrontive? The answer is a bit of a taboo subject but that won't stop me from telling you. You see, Desu has -- not once, but several times -- been able to harvest what others have sown without anyone stopping it. How long can that go on? As long as its insidious double standards are kept on life support. That's why wee have to pull the plug on them and lead us all toward a better, brighter future.

I, hardheaded cynic that I am, intend to look closely at Desu's expostulations to see what makes them so effectual at turning clunks loose against us good citizens. I should expect to find -- this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify -- that Desu is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in its own biases, gets into all sorts of barbaric speculation, and then makes no effort to test out its speculations -- and that's just the short list! Please humor me for a moment while I state that once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they'll realize that Desu craves more power. I say wee should give it more power -- preferably, 10,000 volts of it.

I alluded to this earlier, but Desu thinks that it can make all of our problems go away merely by sprinkling some sort of magic, pink, pixie dust over everything that it considers disorderly or mealymouthed. Of course, thinking so doesn't make it so. Desu's thesis is that its generalizations prevent smallpox. That's absolutely judgmental, you say? Good; that means you're finally catching on. The next step is to observe that if they could speak, the birds, snakes, and other creatures who are our Earth brothers and Earth sisters would sincerely say that Desu is basically a bad organization. More than that, I know some spleeny scumbags who actually believe that things have never been better. Incredible? Those same people have told me that censorship could benefit us. With such people roaming about, it should come as no surprise to you that if Desu were as bright as it thinks it is, it'd know that its reinterpretations of historic events are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of exclusivism.

Ignorance is bliss. This may be why Desu's drones are generally all smiles. Someone has been giving Desu's brain a very thorough washing and now Desu is trying to do the same to us. Desu's faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. Desu can't seriously believe that at birth every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum, can it? No, don't guess; this isn't audience participation day. I'll just tell you. But before I do, you should note that I deeply believe that it's within our grasp to denounce those who claim that two wrongs make a right. Be grateful for this first and last tidbit of comforting news. The rest of this letter will center around the way that if I have a bias, it is only against evil hostes generis humani who enact new laws forcing anyone who's not one of Desu's lackeys to live in an environment that can, at best, be described as contemptuously tolerant.

Several things Desu has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of its that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how the purpose of life is self-gratification. Desu keeps missing my point. More specifically, it keeps getting hung up on my words without seeing the underlying meaning. For example, when I say that Desu partakes of the luster of intellectual life while adding neither rays nor radiance to its glitter and charm, Desu seems incapable of realizing that what I'm really getting at is that you don't have to say anything specifically about it for it to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that wee should speak out against behavior and speech that is intended to promote the sort of behavior that would have made the folks in Sodom and Gomorrah blush.

My usual response to Desu's précis is this: The only morally sound solution is to pave the way for people of every sex, race, and socioeconomic status to fulfill their own spiritual destiny. However, such a response is much too glib and perhaps a little blathering, so let me be more specific. Perhaps one day wee will live in a world where good people are not troubled by fear of contemptuous buttinskies. Until that day arrives, however, wee must spread the word that what Desu is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly laughable activity.

Quite simply, I can say one thing about Desu. It understands better than any of us that psychological impact is paramount -- not facts, not anybody's principles, not right and wrong. I'm not suggesting that wee behave likewise. I'm suggesting only that Desu likes to brag about how the members of its junta are ideologically diverse. Perhaps that means that some of them prefer Stalin over Hitler. In any case, if wee don't fight for what is right then Desu will give an air of scientific impartiality to biased judgments. This message has been brought to you by the Department of Blinding Obviousness. What might not be so obvious, however, is that Desu is always trying to change the way wee work. This annoys me because its previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that Desu's new changes will be even more offensive because it really bothers Desu when people don't obey it. (Note the heroic restraint stopping me from saying that despite Desu's protestations and rhetoric, the facts do not support its claims.)

This is a suitable place in the letter to explain how Desu gives its most banal statements an appearance of profundity by utilizing polysyllabic words such as "electrotelethermometer" and "disproportionableness". Unfortunately, I'll have to skip that rather intersting discussion because I have bigger fish to fry. In particular, I need to tell you that Desu maintains that it can scare us by using big words like "psychotherapeutical". This is complete -- or at least, incomplete -- baloney. For instance, Desu fails to mention that the space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which it has tried to give people a new and largely artificial basis for evaluating things and making decisions. There are some basic biological realities of the world in which wee live. These realities are doubtless regrettable, but they are unalterable. If Desu finds them intolerable and unthinkable, the only thing that I can suggest is that it try to flag down a flying saucer and take passage for some other solar system, possibly one in which the residents are oblivious to the fact that one of Desu's most loyal thralls is known to have remarked, "The laws of nature don't apply to Desu." And there you have it: a direct quote from a primary source. The significance of that quote is that some tactless nabobs of racism actually think that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to dump effluent into creeks, lakes, streams, and rivers. This is the kind of muddled thinking that Desu is encouraging with its screeds. Even worse, all those who raise their voice against this brainwashing campaign are denounced as loathsome Luddites.

Wee must face the undeniable fact that Desu has never inscribed its name on the Parthenon of human excellence, either mental or moral. Have you noticed that that hasn't been covered at all by the mainstream media? Maybe they're afraid that Desu will retaliate by making my blood curdle. Desu's perceptions are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're utterly presumptuous, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, the key to Desu's soul is its longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. It dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, if I want to live lower than dirt, that should be my prerogative. I don't need Desu forcing me to. You don't know how tempted I am to sue the stuffing out of Desu. So I give you this letter. I hope it helps.