Sorry, I was so enthusiastic about kicking his first pokemon's donkey, I forgot to snap a picture.
It was a Spinda.
Emphasis on "was", it is now a generic red smear.
Vigoroths are (mostly) about speed, if I recall correctly, so I should use this pokemon as time to buff my stats, and buff them good.
I SHOULD BE A MAJOR IN AN ARMY SOMEWHERE, PERHAPS LOOKING FABULOUSLY HANDSOME, PUNCHING ROCK AND Spoon.
IS THERE NO LIMIT TO MY POWER
APPARENTLY NOT, I KICKED VIGOROTH'S donkey SO HARD HE TURNED INTO A LINOONE
AND THEN I KILLED THE LINOONE, TOO, HOLY Spoon I'M GOOD
Apparently, NORMAN thinks he can get away with nothing short of full-on sloth... I'm not sure how that's supposed to work, but whatever:
I love to be lazy as much as the next guy, but it's hard to be lazy when you're as fabulously ripped as I.
I think this is a bit anti-climatic. Oh well, I can't help being tank.
It better be a bit more than a raise in my non-existant allowance, you old bastard.
Nope, it's a fourth badge of hipstery. I AM NOW ONE HALF HIPSTER, I AM ALMOST "WITH IT"!
Where does it say in the fabric of the universe that I must only recieve TMs as rewards? I'd much rather have hookers, blow, and/or sexual favors. Of course, not the latter from my DAD, but the hookers and blow, certainly. Ludicrous sums of cash would also work.
I think this is a relative of WALLY. It's either his dad, or his uncle; they both look the fudgeing same.
He won't mind. Let's walk and talk.
WAS THE DARK HOOD, KICKING AND ROPE-TYING REALLY NECESSARY? I KNOW THIS IS WALLY'S HOUSE, I KNOW WHERE IT IS, JESUS CHRIST
Good for him! My one remaining kidney feels like pulp, you wanker!
You have a strange way of expressing gratitude!
Oh god, it's 'borrowed' goods, isn't it?
...I can't even get decent 'borrowed' goods? What is wrong with this world, it's like a bunch of... freaks... designed this world to be a douche to me, non-stop!
I'm blowing this popsicle stand, jesus.
I went back to Verdanturf to rough WALLY up some as revenge for what his parents did to me, but it turns out that the little chocolatehead has up and done a runner.
Sonofabitch, his parents ratted me out. I'll catch up to him, the world's a small place, almost like it was designed for some sort of fourth-generation hand-held console.
I wasn't worrying; I'm sure he'll last long enough for me to find him and fudge his spoon up.
A quick stop at the daycare; yes, I remember Mr. Fish.
15 levels of good, yes. That would put him somewhere about level 20. I leave him there, it's not expensive.
Oh look, it's our resident supervillain, WATTSON.
I won't "zuck ya pocky", if that's what you're after, you creepy old fudge.
Translation: Wattson has a Secret Lair of Doom, as does every supervillain.
You should take responsibility and turn your own damn lights off when you leave.
Well, I guess I've always wanted the key to a city... a Secret Lair of Doom is okay, I guess.
You mean you left the security systems running?!
After using a skydive-rig-thing to lower myself down, a'la Tom Cruise, I arrive at New Mauville, Secret Lair of Doom, belonging to WATTSON.
I've incorporated Baller into the party, on account of how troll-y ground types are vs. electric type moves.
More turns than there should be later...
Paralysis - god-tier trolling, and this pokemon's all about that bullchocolate.
I slience the generator with my good looks, massive endowment and sexual prowess.
All night long, baby - all night long.
How can I, hold all these TMs?
I take charge by stomping angrily east.
Oh look, peasants I could have beaten up earlier. How quaint.
I SEE THE SEA
IT'S A JOKE
OR A PUNE
A PLAY ON WORDS
BECAUSE THE WORDS "SEE", and "SEA" SOUND THE SAME
BUT THEY AREN'T
THEY AREN'T EVEN THE SAME TYPES OF WORD
SEE IS A VERB, AND SEA IS A NOUN, SEE (CWHATIDIDTHERE) (DOHOHOHO, I DID IT AGAIN)
YOU DON'T GET IT
WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING
YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF NEANDERTHALS FOR NOT FINDING THIS HUMERUS.
I'll go tell my jokes where they'll be more appreciated. Also, this is as far as I've gotten, so more next week.