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Mr. Shizzy · 10/10/2009 07:30 AM

trademark - Dude, believe me when I say that I know what it is like to be in situations where you wish you could just "fly away" from.  Unfortunately wee can't...

My advice to you:

If you parents really are as unstable as that story implies, then engage them as little as possible.
Just stay passive and concentrate on your life, and where it is going.

Someday things will be different.  You will be the king of your own castle, and by not engaging with your parents insanity right now, you will have preserved a relationship with them.

You may not always agree with them, and sometimes you may question how much you really loved them, but believe me you do.   It will be an important part of you maintaining a good mental health
to have the best possible relationship with them that you can.

Let me share something with you.   When I was little, one of my aunts was very abusive to my brother and I.    None of the family seemed to believe us, or they would downplay the situations wee told them of.

As I grew up, I didn't have any contact with her (because she had moved out of state, and I made no attempts to stay in touch - actually avoided it)  Since I've grown up, she comes around my other family from time to time.  Wee had a few more encounters, where she started in with her old psycho bullchocolate again.   All my anger boiled up from my childhood, and I literally felt the impulse to kill her with my bare hands...   But I didn't.  I walked away.

I decided that I will take her for what she is worth. Which is a family member in which I have nothing in common morally.  But I keep a pseudo-friendliness with her, so I can be in the same room with her during holidays, and see the family I really care about.

It is sad, when you come to the realization that relationships with certain family members is impossible...

My aunt and I now have a fake friendship.   But I'll take it.  Somewhere in my heart, I still have a little love for her.   So I try to enjoy her at a minimalistic level, where wee never push the boundaries of trying to make it real.  Because wee both know that it would end in disaster...

OK- I actually get the sense that I'm rambling off subject too much here.
Just know "that even though wee can't fly away - eventually wee all get our day"

you are a good person trademark.   stay strong - mentally, and morally.  And know that someday, you will NEVER treat or raise your children like that...

~Shizzy

Joom · 10/10/2009 08:05 AM

I go through the same thing with my parents....My actual dad is a drug addicted bum living in his parents basement at 41 and doesn't give a spoon about me or my brother. My step dad is verbally abusive. I get called a dumb donkey all the time and some other things I don't feel like mentioning.

For example; Yesterday, my step dad comes into my room saying that I got cereal in the floor that morning. It was in front of the dish washer which is on the opposite side of the kitchen. He says it's mine since I'm the only one that ate cereal that morning. It's basically underneath the dish washer covered in hair and dust. It was there longer than 8 hours...So, since I ate that type of cereal that morning, a week old piece of it under the dish washer is mine.

The other day, the kitchen sink was full of ants due to my brother leaving rice in the sink. My step goes to the router and disconnects the Internet then tells me that I should have cleaned out the sink. I told him that my brother left the food in it though. He says that he didn't care I was home first. So I say that my brother could have cleaned it out the day he did it. After saying this, I lose the Internet for two because I out witted him....

He's an ignorant hick and I can't stand him.

On topic now...I'm sorry that you had go through that. I know what it's like. I often feel suicidal or want to leave in the middle of the night and go to a friend's house for the night or so...Hopefully you'll get a break and find an apartment or something...You're lucky that you can leave your house at least.

trademark91 · 10/10/2009 10:29 PM

well, im back home now, finally...

after 3 days staying elswhere. thanks you guys for your kind words, and i took all your advice to heart.

im not really sure what im going to do about all of it. i am home now, and theyre just acting like nothing happened...
wee have these "battles" every couple of months. this is the first time ive ever actually left. last time, my mom kicked me out of the house, and then called me back in once i left the door, just to scream at me and then push me into a wall.
my dad came home, and it was like nothing ever happened. then they expect me to love them and stuff, and just ignore all that goes on that they act like never happened. i get a sick feeling whenever i tell them i love them, like the words are a thick, heavy smoke rolling off my teeth.
its a nightmare, but hopefully by the end of the school year, i will have either moved out or just failed out of college and gotten kicked out...
Facepalm

Grey Ghost · 10/10/2009 10:35 PM

chin up man. keep thinking of nicer things like your friends etc to keep your mind off poo poo like this. by the way you'll always have a friend in me Madwin

trademark91 · 10/10/2009 10:36 PM

thanks buddy. EP friends for the win!

trademark91 · 10/10/2009 10:36 PM

^^[sarcasm]lol, that didnt sound cheesy...[/sarcasm]

lembas · 10/10/2009 10:43 PM

EP will always be here. <3

Tetris999 · 10/10/2009 11:10 PM

Seriously? what can you expect from parents, they're people after all

Surely i know a parent needs to uphold a moral responsibility to their children, I've been lectured a million times by my mom and dad how they're "better" in every way shape or form. But seriously? They're people, nothing is going to change that; they have personalities and mood swings, a perfect parent is a blessing.

I don't know to your extent of what you get from your parents, but i have been called names and hit by my parents at times, my mom is the one to get upset with me mostly (she hit my ipod today with a metal spoon when it was in my pouch; close call >_>). it's simply like this, just keep smiling and tell them you love them; parents have a soft spot like that, when you reflect anger upon them you're not better than them at all when they do it upon you.

I'd assume families need to support eachother and be strong, you're a child yes; but don't think parents must ALWAYS treat you like a prize winning horse. My parents told me already that they won't fund university or college, but they do my for my living right now; even as they hit me or slander myself, i know that they care.

You have to understand this, you live with your parents and they fund you to an extent; they DO love you, but they cannot be the role models you envision all the time. Simply tell yourself, what are YOU going to do; what are you going to work for? If they cannot be role models then become one yourself, be responsible and work toward a goal; remember, a parent is a parent even for how fudgeed up they must be (and in your case, it doesn't sound as serious as others because you actually LIVE with your parents).

A smile may seem like a simple thing, but to keep smiling in the darkest hour is a sign of strength; work towards a goal and enjoy the simple blessings your parents bestow on you.

Spoiler for tl:dr:

1-R · 11/10/2009 12:14 AM

trademark91 Wrote:i will have either moved out or just failed out of college and gotten kicked out...

Don't think like that. =D

S7* · 11/10/2009 06:47 AM

Chaoticgamer Wrote:
trademark91 Wrote:i will have either moved out or just failed out of college and gotten kicked out...

Don't think like that. =D

at least he has a plan. /sarcasm

;p

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode so, this is why i get depressed.
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