17/04/2008, 02:56 PM
17/04/2008, 11:38 PM
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday.
"I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!
Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.
Some indecent ones
"I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!
Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.
Some indecent ones
Spoiler:
Que. What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?
Spoiler:
Ans. Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.
Spoiler:
A delicate young man walked into an army recruiting office. After answering numerous questions, he was finally asked if he was a homosexual. The guy admitted that he was.
Recruiter: Gay, huh? Do you think you could kill a man?
"My, yes," the man giggled, "but it would take days and days".
Recruiter: Gay, huh? Do you think you could kill a man?
"My, yes," the man giggled, "but it would take days and days".
17/04/2008, 11:39 PM
Root of problem: The chinese name - Annie Wan (Anyone)
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? (anyone)
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sam Wan (someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about ?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (sorry)
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? (anyone)
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sam Wan (someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about ?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (sorry)
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
20/04/2008, 05:34 AM
![[Image: PikaDie.jpg]](http://maxpages.com/files/3coolguys/PikaDie.jpg)
23/04/2008, 10:52 AM
here's a couple more jokes. i know I'm in now but I'm bored and feel like puting a little laughter into life.
another jungle joke
three men walk into a jungle and get ambushed by a tribe(again). the chief gives them a choice- death, or bwga-bwga(gay sex). the first two ask for the latter and, although in a lot of pain; are still alive. now the third one, too proud to be gay; asks for death. the chief then replies 'death! by bwga-bwga.'
a man and woman are arguing one night. the husband says to his wife 'if you die before me i will write on your gravestone- here lies my wife, cold as ever.' the wife gets angry at this and replies 'well if you die before me i will write on your grave-here lies my husband, stiff at last.'
another jungle joke
three men walk into a jungle and get ambushed by a tribe(again). the chief gives them a choice- death, or bwga-bwga(gay sex). the first two ask for the latter and, although in a lot of pain; are still alive. now the third one, too proud to be gay; asks for death. the chief then replies 'death! by bwga-bwga.'
a man and woman are arguing one night. the husband says to his wife 'if you die before me i will write on your gravestone- here lies my wife, cold as ever.' the wife gets angry at this and replies 'well if you die before me i will write on your grave-here lies my husband, stiff at last.'
04/08/2008, 04:10 AM
Sorry to bump just wanted to say ROFLFORCE is dead.