Endless Paradigm

awright here goes nothing



An old lady appears at a bank office with a bag full of money. She demands to speak to the director for opening an account, because the amount is huge. After causing a big fuss the staff take her to the director. The old lady tells him she has a lot of money that she wants to put in an account. When the director asks exactly how much money it is she has, she empties the bag with $50 million inside. Of course the director is curious as to where an old lady got such money.

"I bet" says the lady.

"Bet? What kind of bets?"

"For example, Ill bet you $25000 that your balls are square."

"That's ridiculous, obviously you wouldn't make a lot of money with bets like these."

"Well do you want to bet or not?"

"Of course. I bet you for $25000 that my balls are not square."

"Alright. But because its about such a large sum of money, do you mind if I come back tomorrow with my attorney, so that wee have a witness?"

"Sure, I understand its a lot of money you're talking about."

That night the bank director spent hours studying his balls. He became nervous, what if he lost $25000? He checked his balls from all possible angles before coming to the conclusion that his balls were in fact not square. The next day at 10 o'clock, the lady showed up at his office with her attorney, as promised. After repeating the bet, the bank director agrees again that he will bet for $25000 that his balls arent square.

Lady: "Alright then, please drop your pants." The director drops his pants. "Do you mind if I touch them?"

Director: "Sure, I understand it's a lot of money and you want to be sure."

While the lady is inspecting the director's balls with her hands, the director notices the attorney has started banging his head against the wall

Director: "What's up with your attorney?"

Lady: "Nothing much, except that I bet him for $125000 that i'd be holding a bank director's balls at 10 o'clock!!"

zomg, nice sig. okay here's a joke

two guys walk into a bar, they both say "ow!"

GET IT!!!!????

here's another joke,

a guy walks inot a bar and get's a drink. out of nowhere he bets the bartender $5 that he can bite his eye, the bartender agrees. He takes out his glass eye and bites it, and leaves. He comes back a little later and bets $10 the bartender that he can bite his other eye. the bartender is very certain that the guy isn't blind, so he takes the bet. The guy takes out his dentures and "bites" his other eye and leaves. He comes back a little later again and bets $25 that he can spit into a cup that's about 20 feet away. the bertender knows this is impossible so takes the bet. so the guys spits and spits all over the place, but doesn't make it. He gives up the money and leavs. This makes the bartender curious. He asks why the guy made an impossible bet. the guys says "I bet two guys $100 each that i could spit all over your bar and you wouldn't get mad."

lmao k heres a couple of women jokes:

What's the first joke invented ?
Women's right

Why don't women wear watches?
Theres a clock on the stove

dude, that's sexist *conatins laughter*

here's another good one.

there is an old guy, jesus, and moses, and they're all playing golf on a course with a lake. Moses goes first so he hits the ball and it goes into the lake. He parts the water and hit's it in, hole in 2. Next is jesus. He hits the ball and it goes into the lake as well. He walks on water and hits the ball in, hole in 2. Then it's the old guys' turn. He hits the ball and it looks like it's going into the lake, but a fish jumps out of the water and swallows the ball, a bird grabs the fish, a lighting bold hits the bird, the fish hits the ground and spits up the ball which goes into the hole. Hole in 1. Moses leans of to Jesus and says "I hate playing with your dad"

ROFLOL!!

There is an Asian, Mexican, and an American on a plane. Suddenly, the pilot comes on the intercom and says that the weight of the plane is too much and that they needed to each throw something off to keep the plane fling. The Asian throws his kid out the door and says "Its okay, wee have alot of those in our country" The Mexican throws his beer out the door and says "Wee have enough beer in our country, I'll get more" The American looks around and then throws the Mexican out the door and says, "Wee have enough of them in our country!"

that was funny. I don't know any good jokes.

heheheh

theres an airplane filled with all belgians and one dutch guy. the plane is too heavy, and suddenly in mid air the bottom half of the plane falls off and leaves all the passengers hanging from the overhead bins. the pilot says over the intercom that the plane is still too heavy for an emergency landing and that one passenger needs to let go. the belgians look at each other when suddenly the dutch man says ' ill do it '. The belgians are so moved that they all start to applaud

Chuck Norris' Tears Can Cure Cancer. To Bad He Never Cries. . .

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fudge down.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down

If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

The KKK bought the rights to the movie Roots and played it in reverse for a happy ending