Endless Paradigm

Bweeehhh~ :<

Hi guys, just gonna do some rant. Which means spoon was flinged in my face.

So I'm pretty depressed right now. My schedule has become more busier than what I wanted it to be. Now the past couple of months it was actually not bad but still pretty bad. I wish I didn't have work and school at the same fudgeing time. They are both full-time(at least this month). My schedule recently has turned into 6 days of work and 4 days of schooling. Normally I go at night to school and go to work in the morning. But on the weekends I stay at work til 1-2am then go back to work at 9am. Which amounts to a crappy sleep ._.'

Anyways right now I am feeling beyond fatigued last night I broke(giving breaks to servers at work...xD) 4 servers and with no Barista in the back to serve the drinks and coffee. Just imagine 10 servers huddling in one tiny cramped station to get their drinks. Anyways that is also my job being barista, which is a whole lot easier than being a back server in such a busy restaurant. e.e'

I feel kinda guilty complaining though, work is work it's hard and it sucks and that's all it is to me. It's just hard to find a good balance especially when I go to school right after work. I become so tired that it's actually hard to pay attention, sometimes I fall asleep. e_e'

Anyways I am also moving again to a very nice 4 bed 2 bath apartment. Right now wee live in a chocolatehole and I has no room so this is good

So right after work I went to the lady who owns the apartment to sign some papers and finalize some spoon. It took me so much to get her all these papers that I needed to move in like verification, bank statements, and all this other bullchocolate I understood except people kept making a chocolateload of mistakes in my verification stuffs, even at school they forgot to fill out a very important part of it so I had to wait another day for it to finish >_>

After I finished all that stuffs I checked out the apartment again

Anyways left to go home and get ready still feeling exhausted and fatigued, I actually haven't been eating well. No time to eat as well
Went to my house got ready for school and walked out, for no reason I ended up crying. I feel like I've been put through a lot of spoon right now especially with no sleep and no eating. I kinda just feel dead. I don't feel like myself. I think I'm gonna go back to therapy again, because I am actually feeling more depressed than ever. It almost hurts to even swallow my own saliva because of all the stress. I should be feeling relieved but..yea :'3

tl;dr job spoon, can't find a good balance in my schedule, moving again, feeling very depressed, have not been eating. :\

..usually typing this sort of stuff actually helps but this is gonna be my routine for the next couple of years unless something changes v.v'

;__;

Hang in there Lunar-chan!

I know there's not much wee the people of the internet can do for your irl problems, but wee're always here for you. <3

What the bread said.

At least you have some sort of income and getting a education at the same time. Life gets tough some time, you just got to deal with the poo poo it throws at you.

Augh, to be honest I've never been put through a situation like this (My dad has though, he graduated uni at 30-40), but if there's one thing I can say is that you should hang in there.

To be honest, you should be really happy with how far you've come, you are working AND pursuing an education; hardly anyone can put up with that. Infact, they don't, any average person who doesn't need to work will not work, spending their free time on entertainment and complaining about how school is "so hard," you should be really happy that you're the guy who is actually living his life to his fullest. You should look forward to making a vacation for yourself though, if you cannot find a relaxing time with your schedule now, then plan it for the future and think about the reward at the end of the tunnel. Also, if you're in school and are having a hard time with the coursework, DROP IT. School is not something that's going to disappear and become unavailable to you in the next years or so, there are many cases where people graduate at the age of 40-50; there's no shame in that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is manage your time, slow down the coursework, if you don't need the money from your job, drop the job. If you're spending a bit too much money on entertainment, drop that as well. Believe me, sometimes overloading is necessary, but not exactly needed at all times.

School should be something where you dedicate your FREE TIME to, it's not a job and nor should it feel like one, if you keep that in mind I'm sure you can manage.

I know I'm kind of oblivious to the life you lead, so my words may be just poo poo, but if there's one thing I'm sure of is that I hope that you can pull through lunar. <3

Good luck, Lunar!

I think it's great that you're working hard to get somewhere in life, it sucks that it's draining you at the same time.

Well, at least you're moving to a better apartment, so I guess that's a plus :]

Thank you guys <3

I just wish life wasn't such a pain in the buttchaps. Just today really got to me, right now I have the biggest migraine... q.q'

If it were up to me i'd quit, but I need the job to pay for school and books...bills.... I'm pretty much stuck with it til the end :x

Thanks for the ♥'s and thanks tetris I actually have thought about leaving school sometimes to be honest but...I just can't. T_T

School is actually sort of a relief after work, I mean it's only this month though. They've really been riding my donkey a lot at work. I do want to stay in school I just wish I didn't need so much money for it, last semester was philosophy, english and chemistry for about 300> a month D;

To sum it all up I'm glad and grateful to be back in school and even working for that matter.

♥

Sorry to hear things have been difficult recently Fuura-chan...

It sounds like the place you're moving into is an improvement so you can look forward to that.

I think yesterday was just one of those "gaaaahhh" days topped with a migraine at the end of the day

I'll be kays for now, I just get so "waaah" sometimes

Are you paying for the rent of the new place?
You may also consider dropping some courses at school to lessen the load.  Pushing yourself hard doesn't necessarily mean you'll succeed, and it may be wiser to lessen the load so that you have a higher chance of success in what you do, rather than failing everything.

Australia has the awesome HECS system for Uni fees (Government pays them, where you incur a debt, which is paid back through your taxes), so most people here only really need to pay for books/rents/living expenses if they're by theirselves.

Where are you moving to now? Closer or farther away from me?


I hope you the best. It'll work out, it always does.

Beerpong at my house this weekend, you're more than welcome to come.