I would be a dildo, and you all know wy >:}
A dildo used by a gay man?
ewwwwwwww. You're sick!
I'd be a (sneaky) loaf of bread!
I would want to be an anime character, so I guess I'd end up being a plastic statue or a bunch of pixels.
Hmm, too many to pick...
The Sun:
"Hahahaha earthlings, I shall blow your planet to smithereens... eventually... you just wait!"
Oh wait, it's just a day >_>
The Statue of Liberty:
"Hi gais, I'm the pride of mankind, well, at least, some of mankind."
Rocket:
"F*** you earth!"
Google.com Server:
"I know everything"