Endless Paradigm

Introduction
So since not a lot of you know me, I'm going to write a little blurb and stick it here for everyone to know what I'm up to. Like always, this is a personal post; if you hate me or do not like my grammar, then you may leave, I'm not making you read this.

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Philosophy and Reflections on past stuff
Anyway, so I've been looking back on some of my posts and it seems i had more "retarded" emotion than ever in the last one. Being wary and mindful of your mistakes and bad experiences is a good thing, but blabbering them out as some "epic" tale seems more retarded than intended. I think when wee make mistakes, the only true beneficiary impact is on yourself, because when you usually talk about what you've experienced or done wrong, no one can ever truly relate and learn from what you said. So, this means I'm going to hold back on that dramatic writing.

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Where's my money going...
To continue on, lately I've been busy with getting ready for university. Having worked in the summer and received a paycheck, i decided to blow all of it on a nice "gaming" desktop. Not that i really wanted it for gaming at first persay, but since gaming was only 180$ away i decided to blow it; the computer configuration came to 780$; but i bet that it could've been lowered by 100$, oh well. I doubt I'll be doing a lot of gaming in university, so this seems like a really bad idea @_@.

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General Life
So, I'm only two weeks from going to university and i must say that I'm really anxious on a full science course. I keep debating with myself whether i should take a full course load of physics, math, chemistry, english, and biology. Also, i need to setup my apartment's electricity, internet and furniture; such, it seems to be so tedious, exceptionally when you can't drive. At times, i feel like I'm sitting around and letting life pass me by; always, i seem to be thinking of how i can get ahead with my life so I'm not left in the dark. So it's really frustrating, since i put time into games and such instead of interacting (heck, i don't even post much :( ); i make myself more alone than ever in life. What's even more funny is that i feel bad whenever i entertain myself, as i usually see this as a waste of time; what a retarded emotion imo.

Not only that, money is quite a fickle thing; since I'm a spoiled BRAT (lol) my parents are paying for my full university, but it's not like i want this to go waste. When i saw how much the grand total was, it was a WHOPPING 5000$; such a thing is so bothersome to me. I don't know if anybody has felt this, but i certainly feel bad about my parents doing this for me, it's like they're investing something so...spontaneous.

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Emotions
I mean, if i fail, i fail; if i succeed, i succeed. I'll be honest, there's a lot of paths i want to choose in my life, mostly in the arts section; but at times i feel like they won't get me the $$$ i need. It's like i don't even know where i belong, i don't belong in the bookworms that may be our future doctors, or i don't belong to the more simple class; I'm always tied between the two and never really belong to either. I'm very interested in being either a doctor or bio engineer, but such a path is rigorous as it is confusing. So yes, as i see those figures being put down for me, i ask myself to what extent of a person will i be useful to meet these expectations?

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Wrap up
I'll be honest with you guys, i don't have any friends; offline or on. It's probably because I'm a very conflicted individual. It's not like i don't have the social skills or what not, but i don't have a sense of "belonging" anywhere.

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Emo line
All i really want in life is to be useful to someone, and to enjoy it without being swept under the carpet.

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Questions
-What should i do when i first get into university?
-In university, do you usually have time for social life or video games?
-How is it going for you university goers?
-Is dropping emotions something that you see as "weak" or "stupid"?
-I Need 90 Credits to complete my bachelors of science, if i drop one of my courses; it'll take me 1 more year of time and money to accomplish my goals, is this worth it?

Thanks for reading!

Re: Philosophy and Reflections on past stuff - Don't think too much about it Tetris, writing what you feel or what you're thinking down in anyway is a very therapeutic thing to do and you should refrain from doing it when you feel like it - too much thinking and emotion will build up inside of you and that won't do you any favours.

Re: Where's my money going... - Sweet! Did you buy a pre-config or build it yourself? Be sure to test it on our PowerBoard! Clicky~~

Re: General Life - 5000 bucks, damn, I can't blame you for feeling like that cause that is a rather large amount of money. I feel the same way whenever my parents spend anything more than €100 on me at once - I feel real guilty - heck, I feel guilty spending my own money for some damn reason but just going along with it and accepting decisions that have been made is the best thing you can do. Thinking about it won't change anything, just accept their generosity if you think of it that way.

Re: Emotions - How much money do you need? I could go with the "Do what you want and you'll feel better for it" thing but maybe it's the art side that you will want to work on when you find time to do so. Never find time to be bored and you will find the time. Do you really want to follow the path you're expected to follow?

Re: Wrap up - If it makes you feel any better - I consider you a friend. Wee should Skype again sometime.

Re: Emo line - I'm sure wee all want that ^^

Unfortunately I don't attend and don't have plans to attend university so I can't answer your questions - sorry! ^^

Senseito7 Wrote: [ -> ]Re: Philosophy and Reflections on past stuff - Don't think too much about it Tetris, writing what you feel or what you're thinking down in anyway is a very therapeutic thing to do and you should refrain from doing it when you feel like it - too much thinking and emotion will build up inside of you and that won't do you any favours.

Yeah, it's REALLY satisfying to put that all down; it lets me think about it and then laugh at some of the words.

Senseito7 Wrote: [ -> ]Re: Where's my money going... - Sweet! Did you buy a pre-config or build it yourself? Be sure to test it on our PowerBoard! Clicky~~

I built it myself, but all the parts weren't that good in a price vs performance comparison.

Senseito7 Wrote: [ -> ]Re: General Life - 5000 bucks, damn, I can't blame you for feeling like that cause that is a rather large amount of money. I feel the same way whenever my parents spend anything more than €100 on me at once - I feel real guilty - heck, I feel guilty spending my own money for some damn reason but just going along with it and accepting decisions that have been made is the best thing you can do. Thinking about it won't change anything, just accept their generosity if you think of it that way.

Yeah, but thinking like that makes me feel like I'm one of those undeserving people who work for nothing and get everything. It's unfair for me to be lazy and get treated like this, if you know what i mean. There's PLENTY of people who are having problems not because they aren't committed, it's just their place in life that is the problem.

Senseito7 Wrote: [ -> ]Re: Emotions - How much money do you need? I could go with the "Do what you want and you'll feel better for it" thing but maybe it's the art side that you will want to work on when you find time to do so. Never find time to be bored and you will find the time. Do you really want to follow the path you're expected to follow?

This may sound crazy, but i really want to build my own android or AT LEAST augment the human body in someway with human technology. Do i really WANT this? Not really, i want to live a happy life is all; so i feel that chasing after a crazy dream seems to be something that is rather satisfying in some way.

Senseito7 Wrote: [ -> ]Re: Wrap up - If it makes you feel any better - I consider you a friend. Wee should Skype again sometime.

Definitely! I'll go on sometime, but I'm going to sleep atm. Also, it's great to hear that from you, i also consider everyone on EP as friends; it may be a public forum but it seems more active with it's regulars than anything else.

Senseito7 Wrote: [ -> ]Unfortunately I don't attend and don't have plans to attend university so I can't answer your questions - sorry! ^^

It's no problem, not EVERYONE needs to go to university. :P

I am finishing my first trimester of university this week. Honestly I don't think it's not much harder that high school, you just need to work a little more.
It's a lot more fun though.

$5000 for your entire degree?  Compared to Australia, that's cheap.  I pay around A$3000 per semester (8 semesters in total), that that's only after:
- HECS-Help contribution
- 20% discount for upfront HECS payment
I know some internation students who have to pay full fees, and it's like A$14,000 per semester for 4 courses.
Though in Australia, if you're a resident, you can put Uni fees onto HECS, which means the Government pays and you can pay back later through tax (I pay mine up front for the 20% discount).

But yes, Uni is hell expensive and it's something you don't really want to blow...
I don't think a B. Science is exactly the easiest course, but if you think it fits you best, then it's probably the best choice.  Do you have any idea what job your degree will lead you to?

Tetris999 Wrote: [ -> ]-What should i do when i first get into university?

As in where to go?

Tetris999 Wrote: [ -> ]-In university, do you usually have time for social life or video games?

I'd say so, though your mileage may vary, especially if you're aiming for a high GPA.

Tetris999 Wrote: [ -> ]-How is it going for you university goers?

It's more specialised than highschool, so if you pick courses you like, you'll probably enjoy it more.

Tetris999 Wrote: [ -> ]-Is dropping emotions something that you see as "weak" or "stupid"?

Nope.

Tetris999 Wrote: [ -> ]-I Need 90 Credits to complete my bachelors of science, if i drop one of my courses; it'll take me 1 more year of time and money to accomplish my goals, is this worth it?

Why would you drop?

Tetris999 Wrote: [ -> ]

Senseito7 Wrote: [ -> ]Re: General Life - 5000 bucks, damn, I can't blame you for feeling like that cause that is a rather large amount of money. I feel the same way whenever my parents spend anything more than €100 on me at once - I feel real guilty - heck, I feel guilty spending my own money for some damn reason but just going along with it and accepting decisions that have been made is the best thing you can do. Thinking about it won't change anything, just accept their generosity if you think of it that way.

Yeah, but thinking like that makes me feel like I'm one of those undeserving people who work for nothing and get everything. It's unfair for me to be lazy and get treated like this, if you know what i mean. There's PLENTY of people who are having problems not because they aren't committed, it's just their place in life that is the problem.

Well you know the answer to the problem there. It's a matter of deciding if you can fulfil your expectations of yourself - or challenging yourself to fulfil them, or even surpass them.. it depends on how you think of yourself really.

[On laziness, I suffer from getting distracted (doing this for example!) way too easily because of my pathetic levels motivation for this job which is ironic considering it's IT]

Tetris999 Wrote: [ -> ]

Senseito7 Wrote: [ -> ]Re: Emotions - How much money do you need? I could go with the "Do what you want and you'll feel better for it" thing but maybe it's the art side that you will want to work on when you find time to do so. Never find time to be bored and you will find the time. Do you really want to follow the path you're expected to follow?

This may sound crazy, but i really want to build my own android or AT LEAST augment the human body in someway with human technology. Do i really WANT this? Not really, i want to live a happy life is all; so i feel that chasing after a crazy dream seems to be something that is rather satisfying in some way.

Build an android? You know what I think? I think that's fudgeing awesome. If you want to live a happy life and you feel happy chasing the dream then don't stop. Keep working towards it and succeed in what you want to do.

Tetris999 Wrote: [ -> ]

Senseito7 Wrote: [ -> ]Re: Wrap up - If it makes you feel any better - I consider you a friend. Wee should Skype again sometime.

Definitely! I'll go on sometime, but I'm going to sleep atm. Also, it's great to hear that from you, i also consider everyone on EP as friends; it may be a public forum but it seems more active with it's regulars than anything else.

Indeed, im up for a chat too man. Everyone needs someone to talk to the whole of EP is that someone.

Regarding everything else, mainly the questions at the end, well they apply for me too. Next year ill be heading into University to do a bachelor of veterinary science, so all those questions you asked are going through my head too.

It seems like an unbelievably huge step in my life, i mean going to uni is something i still can’t picture and becoming a vet in New Zealand is very difficult.

*sigh*

i wish you luck buddy, just think im in the same boat as you kinda thing wee are both doing health related course (you want to be a doctor right?) ill be loaded down with all the science in my first semester too.

Tetris999 Wrote:All i really want in life is to be useful to someone, and to enjoy it without being swept under the carpet.

yea i want this too, just to be something, to find my place.


Wish ya luck man.

Wow Zinga that's a lot.
Here wee pay about $1000 - 1100 per trimester. My university has three terms in a school year to try and get people to graduate quicker. I am actually taking a double degree course so I will finish in 5 years. But that ain't bad because having fun and graduating with two degrees sounds good to me.