Endless Paradigm

WARNING!!! THIS IS A TL;DR POST AND IS FULL OF CONVULTED THOUGHTS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN EXPRESSED WELL IN WRITTEN FORM!!! ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE A HIGH UNDERSTANDING OF DEDUCTION CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS IS ALL MEANS!!! ITS ALSO REALLY(?) EMO AS WELL


So there's nothing really bad with being a loner in the first place, but i kind of chose being alone because of the sheer stupidity and ignorance that has been shown by people around me. Of course, the first question would be obvious; how did i arrive to this conclusion? Simple, i was treated as more of a tool than a person.

It's funny because it's so stupid/lame/corny; people tended to just respect me and befriend me because i had that outgoing cheerful attitude that i think many people can envision right now (so i don't need to describe how i acted indepth). Anyway, it all started when I found out some girl liked me (it was kinda obvious when she bought me a present :3), but of course, being the hobo with controlling parents with really no similarities to her; i told her (holy spoon, has anyone had a hard time turning someone down? @_@) that i would want to stay friends.

Life went on etc etc and she found some other guy; funnily enough, one of my friends started to invite me more to his parties and hangouts. But what was really going on is that i was being invited because he liked the previous girl who liked me, so the plan was obvious; lets invite the guy who she liked so i can get with her. So i was like fudge that and stopped talking to this guy, even worse, my friend (the girl) was just being moody as fudge around me and literally stopped talking to me at all. oooooooooooook...

So then i was invited by some other girl to hangout with her; only to find out she invited me because i was funny and that i would be the catalyst that would "drive away awkwardness." That being, she would be with her boyfriend and the same girl who asked me out would be with her boyfriend all hanging out. double you tee eff? What single guy hangs out with two couples making out? Funnily enough, she was pissed off at me the entire time and i was ignored (how ironic, I'm invited then treated like spoon?) ; so i decided to ditch them all 10 minutes in.

So basically, it turned out to be a fight between two guys for the girl who liked me (and if you ask me, i think she's probably enjoying it) and i want to have nothing to do with it. So being as moody as i was with school and friends, i guess my personality started to degrade and i really loss a sense of cheerfulness that i use to have. What's funny is that when i tried to talk to anyone about how i felt, they would just answer by silence (as if i was nuts) or just telling a fib to me about how wee were friends.

I mean, what the fudge? If I'm going to be some tool that you invite only to make things less awkward between friends or provide lulz for you; then i wouldn't have any of it. I decided to delete my facebook, blog and all such things that provide communication to people. I'm really sick of this whole jokingly thing that everyone calls friends; maybe I'm being overtly dramatic or serious, but I'm sick of being "that guy that's funny"; if no one cares about me i seriously don't care about them. I don't have some sort of use when you talk to me or such, friends aren't people you use, if that's the way all of this going to be; i say fudge it and get on with my life.

People tend to not give a damn about what i felt, it's only what i could do that judged my worthiness; and this is stupid, even the most cheerful guy can have his ups and downs.

my question to everyone here is simple, i can't arrive to a conclusion on my own; what is friendship supposed to be like? Do i need to always act like a lulz magnet and never feel bad to have any friends at all?

P.S. Women are as moody as FUCK! >_>

I'm sorry to hear that Tetris. Sorry for this temp hijack but it's similar to yours.

I gave up on a lot of social life after a semester in college cause all my friends don't like me anymore. I think they only liked it when I was ignorant and funny at times but now since I take education serious they've pretty much treated me like spoon and ignored me so I stopped messaging them and talking to them.

I need to make new friends in college cause I only have 3 good friends in college, 2 girls and one guy, and one of them can't speak english well. But he's damn smart in philosophy. I♥him!!

I guess friendship is someone who's willing to talk to you and help you in times of need. Skyy♥

dude i feel you

I've never been able to hold a relationship down, through no fault of my own. girls just leave me, and i never really find out why. there's nothing else to do other than to hold your head up and keep fighting on.

I'm sometimes known as the 'funny guy' or the 'idiot' (which pisses me off no end, just because i act silly doesn't mean i am stupid >_>)

but i know, despite what some people think, they help me out and give me a hand when i don't ask for one. they don't feel obliged to; they want to.

people bitch, people tease, but that's in our nature. just keep ploughing on and know that this is early life, wee've got a lot more to look forward to.

I have never understood the implications and the complications of having friends and making an effort to be liked by them.

Well, I guess people like People.

Hmm, I know what you are talking about regarding the so-called friends. I to this day have only 1 friend who I can trust, my first and only friend since I came here to US back when I was wee lil kid. But other people I get along with and am friendly  to on occasions, but only to that extend, because truth is in the end, most people only care about themselves and what will benefit themselves(not to sound negative but my personal experiences). But I don't cut off contact with them either. and that's my opinion of the day

People in general in my experience suck. I talk to only one friend I had in I guess high school now but she fudged me around yesterday (I posted a thread about it) and after that I have two good friends in college, well one really because the other one me and the other mate can only handle him in small doses. But anyway to do with your post people generally cause drama and spoon in your life but I'd still rather have one or two good friends rather than none, which is what I have.

And as for
P.S. Women are as moody as fudge! >_>
I agree totally!

Wow...I actually read the whole thing and can say I too have been in that position...all of them.  I've also been in the position of fully taken advantage of for my computer skills.  Well adter my first date with my now wife I threw all of those previous "friendships" went out the door.  I got a new phone number and moved and no one knew what happened to me and I'm sure all their computers got thrown out from too much virii hehehe.

Anyhow stay positive..  It took me until I was 27 until the right girl came back in my life!  And before her it was about 3 or 4 years of no girlfriends for me. :-/

Lunar Wrote:I need to make new friends in college cause I only have 3 good friends in college, 2 girls and one guy, and one of them can't speak english well. But he's damn smart in philosophy. I♥him!!

I pretty much lost (well, not exactly "lost", but just not really close anymore) whatever friends I had in the past now that I'm in uni.  And imo friends are also far less important now because uni lifestyle is quite different such that you're not always around people all the time, and more importantly, the people you're around are always different, unlike high school where you're always around the same bunch of people pretty much the whole day.  Put it this way... it takes like 20 minutes just to walk from one side of my uni to the other, some people I know are at the same uni, but I have never seen them because wee never meet.

ProperBritish Wrote:people bitch, people tease, but that's in our nature. just keep ploughing on and know that this is early life, wee've got a lot more to look forward to.

You're really really optimistic...

Assassinator Wrote:

ProperBritish Wrote:people bitch, people tease, but that's in our nature. just keep ploughing on and know that this is early life, wee've got a lot more to look forward to.

You're really really optimistic...

a lot of hardship too

but if i ignored the good times and keep focusing on the bad things happening, i wouldn't want to get up in the morning..

I found a PDF called "make any one like you on 90 seconds or less"
.... I'll start the  download now and share tomorrow when it's finally done
:)