Endless Paradigm

Pages: 1 2

Probably doesn't work.
Oh, and sorry to those who got their interests perked by my chosen subject title.

Quote:“Well . . . I can definitely feel a bit of adrenalin,” says Yukari Sendo, savouring the mobile phone ringtone like a fine wine, “but it really doesn’t make me want to do any housework.”

She flicks through a menu of alternative tunes and settles on one that offers to improve her skin tone through the power of alpha-waves.

Ms Sendo and her friend Ayaka Wakabayashi are among an army of young Japanese drawn to the allure of “therapeutic ringtones” — a genre of melodies that promises to ease a range of day-to-day gripes, from chronic insomnia to a rotten hangover.

Japan is no stranger to bizarre phone fads but the popularity of the ringtones is perhaps surprising given the flimsiness of the science behind them.

Much of the tones’ credibility rests in the solid reputation of Matsumi Suzuki, the head of the Japan Ringing Tone Laboratory, an eight-year-old subsidiary of the Japan Acoustic Laboratory.

Mr Suzuki’s adventures in the realm of mood-altering ringtones follow a career at the National Research Institute of Police Science, where he made award-winning advances in the field of voiceprints. One of his proudest achievements was the development of a synthetic mosquito noise that is inaudible to Japan’s over-60s but supposedly discourages teenagers from “congregating in parks at midnight”.

A spokesman for Index, the giant Japanese mobile phone content provider that sells Mr Suzuki’s ringtones, explains that while there is a shortage of actual experimentation, “the number of downloads suggests the ringtones must be working to a certain extent”. Index’s other innovations include an iPhone application that translates your dog’s bark; the “Bowlingual” automatic canine interpreter draws on an database of woofs from dozens of species.

The first therapeutic tone, a high-energy rhythm, tested for The Times by Ms Sendo and Ms Wakabayashi, was supposed to provide a sudden burst of impetus to sluggardly housewives. Yukari and Ayaka had their doubts.

The tone that is said to improve skin mixes a burst of electro-Schubert with woodland noises such as birdsong and streams. “I suppose it might subconsciously make you think of washing your face, and that is good for the skin,” said Ayaka. “At least, it would certainly send you towards the bathroom.”

Ms Sendo and Ms Wakabayashi were marginally more impressed by the sleep-inducing and sleep-preventing tones, suspiciously akin to a lullaby and a dance track. The one with most practical use, they concluded, was the tone that scares away crows — the sinister jungle ravens that terrorise the dawn streets of Tokyo by pecking at bags of rubbish.

Mr Suzuki’s latest ringtone has been timed to coincide with the Japanese hay fever season. The Ohana Sukkiri Melody emits a series of sounds at different frequencies “so that people can choose the sound that resonates most to their sinus and causes pollen lodged there to fall from the nasal cavity”.

Index admitted that it had not conducted any research on how great a pollen deluge would be induced by the ringtone but said that it was “generally understood” that resonance would help hayfever sufferers if they brought the phone close to their noses.

When it came to testing the hangover chaser ringtone, Yukari and Ayaka were relieved from experimental duties. This popular application works through what Index describes as a careful selection of “pulse-melodies” chosen for their astonishing atunement to the body’s “medical rhythms”. Testers concluded that a fried breakfast, though less portable, still had the edge.

- Source: [Times Online]

they make them to make your boobs bigger too i think

its a hidden track of babies crying, and the maternal instinct induces breast growth when used regularly

OH yeah I heard about that, I forget where...but it sounds cool...I think...

Reminds me of the old sound packs that were supposed to stimulate feelings of being high, drunk, and visualizing things....

Really? Where can these sound packs be found Schmilk??

Ekusoshisuto Wrote:Really? Where can these sound packs be found Schmilk??

http://www.i-doser.com/

me and my brother were looking into a similar subject when wee heard about it and wee had a look out of curiosity.

my brother said that while the ones by iDoser are hardly what they claim to be (Hand of God is nothing.. he tried it (they were charging a couple hundred dollars for it =_= )) really the relaxing ones were the ones that "worked best" but its hard not to fall asleep while listening to it for the intended hour.

wee found the source code can be made to play with with SBaGen (http://uazu.net/sbagen/) and along with that, wee found the frequencies it used (they were all unique.. and similar effects by name had similar frequencies).

Wee ended up agreeing that while theres no evidence that the iDosers frequency sequences had much of an effect.. the theory (which it briefly described on the SBaGen site) seems reasonable enough.. albeit so far the lack of "real, repeated and conclusive evidence.

Essentially though, considering you can mess around with SBaGen.. the fact they charged like they did was rediculous (anyone could have talked like they do.. its hard to say it isn't a scam).. though in fact, for a brief period of time, the official iDoser site made *all* doses available for free (this was after wee found to play with SBaGen).. but it looks like they're charging again now.

Thanks for the info Sensei Madwin

well after reading all that I personally think it is much easier to just buy some weed from my local dealer, too bad I don't got money right now grr.. Dotdotdot

Ekusoshisuto Wrote:Thanks for the info Sensei well after reading all that I personally think it is much easier to just buy some weed from my local dealer

Yes.

'Nuff said. Hihi