23/10/2009, 10:26 PM
Howdy!
Last time, wee brought you the Truth about Vista Aero Glass and now wee're back with the updates in Windows 7 (just released™ ^^).
Originally, wee tried to make Aero look wonderful at the cost of usability, but unfortunately, the smart bitches at Apple found a way to allow both usability and good looks. Wee originally sought to rectify this issue, but unfortunately, take a look at the budget wee got allocated.
![[Image: 28tw02q.jpg]](http://i36.tinypic.com/28tw02q.jpg)
Clearly, there's no way wee could compete, so instead, wee sought to use cheap tactics to try to claw back something at least.
Due to these budget restrictions however, wee've clearly been constrained in the number of changes wee were allowed to make.
So let's get started.
Windows XP's default "Fisher Price" theme has an oversized taskbar. Although wee kept it in Vista, wee really forgot to do much with it. Having realised our mistake, wee corrected this issue in Windows 7 by doubling the size of the (original 9x) taskbar. That's right - less space for your unaesthetic windows and more screen estate taken up by the lovely Windows design. As with various Vista improvements, wee really wanted to make the taskbar even bigger, but wee were advised to only increase the size in increments to prevent such suspicions from arising.
Although wee spent much effort improving the Vista desktop, wee found that not enough people were actually looking at it, often covering it with ugly applications, windows and whatnot. Wee figure that, despite how good something is, it's totally useless if never looked at. Although wee did have a "show desktop" button, it's, quite frankly, only there cause Gates asked for it. So wee decided to ditch that, and instead, stick a random unlabelled mysterious rectangle in the bottom right corner of the taskbar. How is this better you ask? It moves it away from the ugly cluster of other icons users tend to hide it amongst. It also gives easy access for users to drool over the work of art that is the desktop, away from the mundane other windows. As a bonus, users can no longer remove the option, and every time their mouse strays to the bottom-right corner of their screen, they get a nice wonderful fright when all their windows become transparent for no apparent reason.
What's the easiest way to make things easy to use? Remove features! Screw all those 5% of users who love the Straightforward Start Menu! It's far too straightforward, and makes Windows look like child's play. So wee now require everyone to use the Phat Start Menu. It's absolutely genius. Make things easier to use (and maintain) by removing options, and at the same time, make Windows look more complex so not even those haters can make Windows look simple.
The glowing orb in the bottom left of the taskbar is still largely the same as in Vista, however it now has a "7" glow to it, to prove that you really are not looking at an ugly Vista theme, but an improved Windows 7 system. Wee believe this to help dispel customer dissatisfaction when they would be ridiculed for being idiots, using Vista, when they really aren't. (but the idiot part is probably still true)
So there you have it. I know wee weren't able to do as much as wee did with Windows Vista, but wee did try our best in these constrained circumstances and hope you understand our desperate situation.
Last time, wee brought you the Truth about Vista Aero Glass and now wee're back with the updates in Windows 7 (just released™ ^^).
Originally, wee tried to make Aero look wonderful at the cost of usability, but unfortunately, the smart bitches at Apple found a way to allow both usability and good looks. Wee originally sought to rectify this issue, but unfortunately, take a look at the budget wee got allocated.
Clearly, there's no way wee could compete, so instead, wee sought to use cheap tactics to try to claw back something at least.
Due to these budget restrictions however, wee've clearly been constrained in the number of changes wee were allowed to make.
So let's get started.
Windows XP's default "Fisher Price" theme has an oversized taskbar. Although wee kept it in Vista, wee really forgot to do much with it. Having realised our mistake, wee corrected this issue in Windows 7 by doubling the size of the (original 9x) taskbar. That's right - less space for your unaesthetic windows and more screen estate taken up by the lovely Windows design. As with various Vista improvements, wee really wanted to make the taskbar even bigger, but wee were advised to only increase the size in increments to prevent such suspicions from arising.
Although wee spent much effort improving the Vista desktop, wee found that not enough people were actually looking at it, often covering it with ugly applications, windows and whatnot. Wee figure that, despite how good something is, it's totally useless if never looked at. Although wee did have a "show desktop" button, it's, quite frankly, only there cause Gates asked for it. So wee decided to ditch that, and instead, stick a random unlabelled mysterious rectangle in the bottom right corner of the taskbar. How is this better you ask? It moves it away from the ugly cluster of other icons users tend to hide it amongst. It also gives easy access for users to drool over the work of art that is the desktop, away from the mundane other windows. As a bonus, users can no longer remove the option, and every time their mouse strays to the bottom-right corner of their screen, they get a nice wonderful fright when all their windows become transparent for no apparent reason.
What's the easiest way to make things easy to use? Remove features! Screw all those 5% of users who love the Straightforward Start Menu! It's far too straightforward, and makes Windows look like child's play. So wee now require everyone to use the Phat Start Menu. It's absolutely genius. Make things easier to use (and maintain) by removing options, and at the same time, make Windows look more complex so not even those haters can make Windows look simple.
The glowing orb in the bottom left of the taskbar is still largely the same as in Vista, however it now has a "7" glow to it, to prove that you really are not looking at an ugly Vista theme, but an improved Windows 7 system. Wee believe this to help dispel customer dissatisfaction when they would be ridiculed for being idiots, using Vista, when they really aren't. (but the idiot part is probably still true)
So there you have it. I know wee weren't able to do as much as wee did with Windows Vista, but wee did try our best in these constrained circumstances and hope you understand our desperate situation.
